Thursday, November 19, 2009

Of All the Fool Things.

While the shit has hit the fan in the romance world with Harlequin's new vanity press label--and I try to visualize RWA without Harlequin--I've been prepping for a special guest arrival tomorrow.


Imagine my surprise that I had no idea this Harlequin/Vanity Press/RWA situation erupted! Actually--not hard to imagine because I've been out of it for a month.

I have nothing to report--but I do have a list of what you shouldn't do two days before your guest is scheduled to arrive for an extended stay.

-Damn it I don't have time for ten!!

hold your applause until the end, please.

Number Five

Don't go upstairs to clean the bathroom and wind up painting it instead.

No I don't have this soap dispenser!

Number Four

Don't look at twitter, google reader, FB or your email

or you'll get SUCKED into the void.

Number Three

Don't Check Your Books!

Best Sellers for Aspen Mountain Press
Based on data gathered within the last 20 days.
1. Cover Me [Men of Smithfield] by L.B. Gregg [Erotica/Mystery/Crime]
2. Happy Ending [Men of Smithfield] by L.B. Gregg [Erotica/Romance]
3. Gobsmacked [Men of Smithfield] by L.B. Gregg [Erotica/Romance]

I keep checking to see how my books are 'doing'.
This is an utter waste of time. Still. LOOK! At Fictionwise!!

Number Two

Don't Go To Target

Chris Pine has arrived.

Number One Thing
Not to Do Two Days
Before Your Guest Arrives.

Don't decide to Wallpaper the Front Hall with Holiday Wrapping Paper.

Oh, la! You think I'm joking! I'm halfway done. I'm out of sticky dots. Target is far away. And...I'm starting not to care anymore because--I have to clean the house. Of wrapping paper, paint, and sticky dots. Floors to mop. Towels to wash.


So. Are you ready for Thanksgiving?


Tam said...

I so want that bottom poster and I would love to put it up in my office for all and sundry to see. Sigh. That soap dispenser would also decrease the spread of H1N1 in the workplace, at least on the part of the women (and my neighbor). LOL

I am soooo ready for Thanksgiving. ;-) Since I live in Canada that gives me a good 11 months to get my shit together.

Chris said...

Hmm. I wonder if they sell decals to retrofit boring soap dispensers...

lisabea said...

Tam--I need to watch Office Space again. It's a must. However, I'm petting my copy of Star Trek (for movie night,and beyond!)

Chris--We could start a cottage industry.

Tracy said...

I've heard of wallpapering the front door with Christmas paper but the entire hallway? Wow - that's a lot of work. I can see how you would lose your motivation.

All I have to do is make my yam recipe - which is oh so decadent and wonderful - for Thanksgiving and drive to Mom and Dad's house. No one would want to eat a turkey that I made...there's not enough drinking water in the western hemisphere to quench your thirst after eating my cooking! lol

lbgregg said...

We're going to drive to Williamsburg on MOnday--I'm buying a pie. Fuck it.

This week is turning into the Odyssey. It looks fricken cool though, Tracy. We were down to ratty drywall while we wait to 'redo'--waiting and waiting and waiting--so this is my 'quick fix'. It was G's idea. SUCH a guy. COuld be worse, he could have said Duct tape.

Have fun! (I'd eat your turkey.)

Samantha Kane said...

I'm getting Star Trek for Christmas from my kids. My oldest boy has hinted at it so many times it's going to be an Academy Award performance when I pretend to be surprised.

I bought a cake shaped and frosted like a turkey at the grocery store today. Not for Thanksgiving. Just because I liked it. It's really cute. I guess we'll celebrate Thursday tonight.

Wow. Before I could post this my neighbor brought me ANOTHER cake. Red velvet. Maybe nobody's cooking tonight. Will Child Services pay me a visit if I give my kids cake for dinner?

lbgregg said...

That's my fav. Caek!

I won't call, but I may come for dinner.

JenB said...

Turkey cake! YUM!!!

(At first I accidentally typed CUM...I kid you not. It's from haging around all you perverts.)

Also, yay for bestsellers! And for Star Trek. YUM again.

Kris said...

Turkey cake? Yam pie? Okay I have to ask... why do Americans eat stuff that would be for a main meal as a dessert?? It's... a little... odd.

*wonders if she can put up christmas wrapping high enough on walls to stop the boy kittens from eating it*

sula said...

oooh, office space! what an awesome flick.

i am looking forward to next week. DH's cousin is coming to visit. he's pretty much the only family member we have from Africa that's on this side of the pond. so kinda special to have him here. :) We're going to a friend's house for T-day and I am slated to make my mom's traditional southern CORNBREAD stuffing. And I'm gonna try this recipe I found for a pumpkin pie with gingersnap crumb crust and pecan pie topping. Three desserts in one. heh.

Renee said...

Woo hoo, LB! Congrats on the Fictionwise bestsellers. :-D

I'm taking mac and cheese and corn bread pudding to my sis's. My nephew said t make sure I make plenty of mac and cheese, and I felt so happy he made the special request, since I could forego the turkey and just eat mac and cheez.

Um, Chris Pine's eyebrows are scaring me.

You have got to take pictures of that front hall!

lisabea said...

JenB--tonight I have plans with Chris Pine--and my new DVD. Oh....

I should have turkey cake with that.

Kris--Word of warning. That idea, while brilliant at the time, was quite a fuckery. FUCKERY.

However, it's not to bad now. Although if the wall gets wet, I'm screwed.

Sula-I want pecan pie. I'll be in Virginia. OMG. What if...what if we actually saw each other. Or called? Hm.

Renee--the front hall looks like vintage wallpaper, bubbles and everything. It's sort of cool.

sula said...

lb, if you are in VA and don't at least call (or stop by!) I shall be very sad. we're not all that far from williamsburg...erm...well, not more than 3 or 4 hours anyways. heh.

Sarah said...

My, you're a festive wee thing!! Papering the hall???

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