Respecting the Romance

I think we can all agree that romance rarely, if ever, gets the respect it deserves.  We’ve all put up with our fair share of ribbing, raised eye-brows, and snide comments because, “oh, you read those books”.  Well ladies of the island, this past month I attended a magical event- a gathering of people who wanted to discuss romance not just because they enjoyed it, but because they think it has literary value!

This year’s International Conference on Popular Romance was held at my college, meaning I was lucky enough to attend some of the events.  It’s amazing the tidbits you learn at these things, like Lisa Dale once took a class with my advisor (and fell asleep during it) and SB Sarah can do a kickass Pittsburgh accent.  No worries, I absorbed some academic bits too.  In fact, I was even part of one of the presentations!

Amy Burge, a well-dressed Ph.D. candidate in the Centre for Women’s Studies at the University of York in the UK directed my Popular Romance class (jealous yet?) in a meeting which would later be used in her “(Re)Readingthe Romance: A Hands-On Harlequin Workshop”.  We were all given the cut out words of a single page of a Harlequin novel, which we then rearranged as we saw fit.  Here’s a quick look at how it went:

Don’t I have class with some of the prettiest girls!  Now you also know what some of my friends look like haha : )  I was so glad they didn’t include me in the clip.  I had just rolled out of bed (well, technically I had peeled myself off the floor) and I wasn’t quite rocking the sweats and frizz that morning.

Here’s my interaction with the Harlequin romance:

I think it states the obvious- I am a romance reader and love these “guilty pleasures”!

Getting to Know You... Getting to Know All About You

Hello everyone!  It’s D.L. from The Romance Girl’s Guide to Fiction back on the Island for the next few days.  I was scheduled to pop by last May, but my pesky final exams got in the way.  Quick thanks to everyone at the Island for picking up the slack and covering for me.

Looking back over my first stay on the Island, I posted about people’s reactions to romance readers, my love of John Matthew, and dislike of Scorpios, but I never did an official introductory post.  So without further ado…

Ten Facts About D.L.

-So some of the basics: I’m a 21 year old English major.  I’m not sure what I’m going to be doing after I graduate, but I’m not going to be a teacher or a journalist.  For some reasons those are the two things people always assume English majors are going to be…

-I have a cat named Abyssinia.  How did she get that name?  There’s that scene in Sense and Sensibility where Margaret crawls out from under the table declaring “the source of the Nile is in Abyssinia!”  Haven’t seen the movie?  Well, you better get on that.

-I have four false teeth.  Two are implants and two are veneers.  They’re not cosmetic; I was born without two teeth, thus the implants.  My before and after pictures are on my dentist’s website!  And it’s always fun to tell a guy I have “implants” on a first date.  The reactions are priceless.

-I love bad paranormal movies.  And I mean real bad ones.  Not the campy ones, but the ones that take themselves seriously.  Daybreakers, Constantine, Priest… Bring ‘em on.  I can’t get enough.

-I hate wearing shoes, both indoors and out.  But when I walk barefoot indoors, my heels don’t touch the ground.  I walk on my tip-toes.  It looks a bit odd, but it does make me look a bit taller though!

-Just like Bet Me’s Min was waiting for her reincarnation of Elvis, I’m waiting for my reincarnation of Cary Grant.  Or Humphrey Bogart.  I’d be happy with either.  I love classic films.  I would have loved to have lived in the 40’s, except for the sexism… and racism… and war…

-I have no fear of snakes or large spiders, but bunnies used to frighten me.  I’ve gotten over that fear, but I’ve always wondered myself where the fear of rabbits came from.  Watching Monty Python one too many times?

-I love love love spicy food.  I can eat a jalapeño straight.  Buffalo wings are my weakness.  My friend and I used to go to Buffalo Wild Wings so often that we had a regular waitress who knew are usual order.

-My mom helped me make my junior year prom dress… out of camouflage fabric.  My high school sweetheart had a matching vest.  All the photographers told us we were the cutest couple they had seen that year.

-I’m a huge Iditarod fan (ya know, that dog sled race up in Alaska… think Balto!).  My mom and I follow it obsessively.  We have our favorite mushers and Iditarod families and we make bets.  I won this year.  Oh yea.

Want to know me better?  Come back tomorrow for my next post, or visit my blog, The Romance Girl’s Guide to Romance, where I occasionally remember to post.

The Zodiac is Killing Me

Yesterday was a major upset in my world.  I found out the mysterious “they” were introducing a thirteenth zodiac sign.  Now everyone’s sign would be shifted.  For most of us, we would end up being whatever sign used to come before us, unless you were the new sign Ophiuchus, in which case your friends were probably laughing.  Here’s a chart of what your sign would have been:

Capricorn: Jan. 20-Feb. 16.
Aquarius: Feb. 16-March 11.
Pisces: March 11-April 18.
Aries: April 18-May 13.
Taurus: May 13-June 21.
Gemini: June 21-July 20.
Cancer: July 20-Aug. 10.
Leo: Aug. 10-Sept. 16.
Virgo: Sept. 16-Oct. 30.
Libra: Oct. 30-Nov. 23.
Scorpio: Nov. 23-29.
Ophiuchus: Nov. 29-Dec. 17.
Sagittarius: Dec. 17-Jan. 20.

All of this was debunked today, so don’t worry too much about it.  To my knowledge none of my friends felt a sudden personality shift and I doubt any couples got divorced because out of the blue they were incompatible.  I don’t actually believe in astrology.  I only check my horoscope occasionally when the mood strikes me.  I’ve never sat in a bar sipping cosmos asking men “what’s your sign?”, but this still would have shattered my world view.  Why is that?

Because I don’t date Scorpios.

I also don’t date pianists, poli-sci majors, and guys who are 6’1”, though under certain circumstances all of those are forgivable.  Being a Scorpio is not.

It’s not that weird when you think about it.  Some women don’t date accountants.  Others won’t date men who are close to their mothers.  And most women automatically rule out a guy who wears socks with sandals.

I just don’t date Scorpios.

This didn’t come out of thin air of course.  I tried it.  Several times.  Enough times to finally save myself the trouble and finally come up with The Rule.  For some reason I’m drawn to Scorpios the way some women are drawn to bad boys in leather who ride motorcycles.  Half the time I didn’t know they were Scorpios until I was too late, (that’s not why I was attracted to them), but I always unfailingly got stung.  Apparently Aquarius and Scorpio are incompatible signs and I can believe it.

A lot of people blogged/tweeted/facebooked about the change, either to complain, or say how ridiculous it is, or to muse whether or not they felt different about themselves.  But I was upset for much more practical reasons.  If all the signs were shifted, who don’t I date?

Do I not date all the former Scorpios?  Do I not date all the current Scorpios?  Do I not date both former and current Scorpios?  How much of the male population was off limits to me?!

In my mild state of panic I jumped on the interwebs and began my research, so here’s my breakdown of how the situation went, from Ophiuchus’ “discovery” to its debunking.

For any of you who don’t know the reason for Ophiuchus being introduced into the Zodiac, let me give a brief explanation.  The ecliptic (i.e. the apparent path the sun takes around the Earth) passes through all twelve signs of the Zodiac.  But if you look between Scorpio and Sagittarius, it also clips the constellation Ophiuchus.  It didn’t always do this, but the Earth wobbles on its axis, so the apparent path of the sun changes.  Now in today’s day and age the ecliptic crosses thirteen constellations instead of just twelve.  (Wow, I never thought taking astronomy last semester would come in handy!)  Just so everyone clear, the whole fuss over Ophiuchus has been caused by a Minneapolis Community and Technical College Professor named Parke Kunkle, who kept calling it the “13^th sign of the Zodiac” until he made some headlines, but he’s not an astrologer.  Anyone with a star chart can see the ecliptic crosses it though.

So why didn’t astrologers “see” this coming?  Especially since the ecliptic has been crossing Ophiuchus for a while…  According to them, they did.

One astrologer, Lawrence Grecco, when interviewed over at the Global Grind, claims trying to discuss the new chart is like, “discuss what it’s like now that New York is its own country.”

“My earliest teachers from the 80’s were aware of this, and telling us about this and preparing us for these questions that sometime come up. But western astrology as it’s practiced is not based on literally where the consolations appear in the sky but it’s based on time.”

In other words, it doesn’t matter what constellations the elliptic crosses or where they are literally in the sky.

Astrologer Georgia Nicols gave a similar explanation on the Calgary Herald.

“‘Most astrologers use what we call the tropical zodiac,’ she said. ‘We're using the same system for thousands of years. It's based on math. A producer just called and said, so basically this is just (an issue of) math versus the sky? I said yeah. You could call it that.’”  She did note that there are astrologers that already include Ophiuchus in their signs, including Vedic astrologers in India and Sidereal astrologers in North America.

With Ophiuchus out of the way, my prediction it that someone is going to object to the use of Pluto in predictions since it’s not a planet anymore!

Despite my skepticism about astrology as a whole, I have to say debunking the shift was a relief to me.  The Rule still stands.  I don’t date Scorpios.

John Matthew Is My Hero

A couple days ago Tracy posted the list of the heroes the newbies chose. Just so you don’t have to go back and check, here are the ones I picked:

Marc “Hunt” Hunter from Unlawful Contact- Pamela Clare
Hardy Cates from Blue-Eyed Devil- Lisa Kleypas
Kev Merripen from Seduce Me at Sunrise- Lisa Kleypas
David Masters from Wed Him Before You Bed Him- Sabrina Jeffries
Spike from A Man in a Million- Jessica Bird
Nick Romeo from Romeo Romeo- Robin Kaye
Julian Sinclair from The Duke of Shadows- Meredith Duran
Devin Freedman from What the Librarian Did- Karina Bliss

Let me say this was not an easy task. Take all of the heroes of all the books you’ve ever read and narrow your favorites down to eight? Is that even possible?! Apparently it is because all of us managed to do it.

Complicating matters was the fact that we could not pick a hero that was already on the Island. And there are a lot of darn good heroes on the Island. In particular, my problem was John Matthew from the BDB. You see, if I could have only taken one hero to the Island with me it would have been him. He’s my hero.

(Sorry LesleyW if I’m putting you on the spot since he is in your hut!)

I don’t mean my in a possessive way, but I can be a little… er… obsessive, and now that I’ve started the story I might as well come out with it.

I am so in love with John Matthew that I took an ASL course last spring. (Phew! That’s a load off my chest).

Of course, when people asked me why I was taking the course I always said it was because I couldn’t stand to take one more year of Spanish, but really that’s just because “I’m in this course because I’m in love with a mute ass-kicking fictional vampire from a romance novel” was an awkward conversation starter.

But besides finding out I’m actually pretty decent at ASL, some pretty good stuff came out of that class. Like I met a guy… a really great guy… let’s just call him John ;)

Somehow early on John and I had managed to get stuck in the friend zone. We were in what seemed like an endless cycle of fruitless flirting, tutoring sessions where no studying got done, a dinner that couldn’t be called a date and still neither of us could seem to work up the courage to make a move. I was starting to go a little crazy.

After our final exam he invites me over to his apartment. Finally, I think, one of us is making a move. Yes!

Um, no.

What do we do? We watch TV. Well, he watches TV, and I get bored and play with his cat. Two hours later, frustrated beyond belief, he drops me off at my house.

I may not have made a move before then, but I am not one to take things lying down! I marched over to his side of the car and stood there until he opened the window.

“John, this is finals week and this could be the last time I ever see you, so are you ever going to kiss me or not?”

A bit dramatic maybe. I was probably a sight, all 5’4” standing on a street corner, hands on my hips demanding to be kissed.

Pause. I’m sure my face is red now. Maybe I should have done this where there was an escape route?

Finally he gives me a sheepish look. “I didn’t want to take things too fast.”

Heart melting… though at that pace we probably would have gotten together in 2012 just in time for the world to end.

And then we kissed.

It was one of those kisses that throws you for a loop. The kind that reminds you of when you were sixteen and every first kiss was new and amazing. It sinks to your toes and you float home on cloud nine. The kind of kiss that reminds you of how amazing just kissing and being around someone can be.

In the end I was right- that was the last time I ever saw him. But that was a great note for us to end on.

Now, if it hadn’t been for John Matthew, I wouldn’t have taken that class. And if I hadn’t taken that class I wouldn’t have meet John. And if I hadn’t meet John, I wouldn’t have had that kiss.

Thank you, John Matthew. You are my hero.

Reactions to Romance Readers

I was incredibly excited to be accepted as one of the new members of DIK. Three days of everyone having to listen to me? Awesome! But really I was nervous as heck too. I can barely manage to keep up my own blog sometimes. What on earth possessed me to sign up for this?!

For a while I had no idea what to post about. But then something happened to me recently that got me thinking. A friend of mine who didn’t know I read romance discovered I have a blog. The whole encounter went a little something like this:

Me: Um, yea, so I have a blog.

Friend: Cool! So what do you blog about?

Me: Mostly romance novels. I write reviews, talk about the genre, that sort of thing.

Friend: *skeptical look* You read romance novels?

Me: *getting ready to defend the genre* Yea I do. Have a problem with that?

Friend: No, but it’s… you.

Me: *confused, and slightly indignant* What’s that supposed to mean?

Friend: Nothing… except you’re like the least romantic person I know.

Me: *getting grumpy* Am not.

Friend: You hate romantic gestures.

Me: They’re overrated.

Friend: You hate being tied down.

Me: I’m not at a good point in my life for a relationship. (It’s true!)

Friend: You think men are interchangeable.

Me: Ouch?

Well, at least I have some street cred as a player, I guess.

The point of the anecdote is that for some reason being a romance reader comes with a lot of assumptions. Apparently my friend thought that since I read romance I should like flowers and candlelit dinners and would be looking for “the One”, when really I’d probably be annoyed by those things.

I’ve gotten a lot of interesting reactions when people find out I read romance, so I’ve started sorting them into categories. Here’s what I’ve got so far:

1. The new prude. Oh, you read those kinds of books? I’m sure you can all imagine the person I am describing. They wrinkle their nose slightly in disgust. I think this can mostly be attributed to the “bodice ripper” covers of the eighties: Fabio’s hair streaming in the wind, shirts unbuttoned, and a dress mysteriously falling off. They would never be caught dead reading “porn for women”. Yes, I read those kinds of books. Books with sex in them. Shocking! Have a problem with it?

2. The literary snob. I always find these the most annoying. They’re the most easy to spot. Their bookshelves are lined with Shakespeare, Homer, Tolstoy, and Nietzsche. If it doesn’t have a Cliff Notes written for it, they won’t read it. I usually find that the literary snob is the quickest to make assumptions and judgments about romance readers as a whole. We’re less educated. We’re bored housewives. We live alone with our twelve cats. Clearly if only I had read Kafka instead of Kleypas I would have been saved!

3. The closet reader. You read romance too! Every now and again you meet someone who reads romance, but hasn’t quite “come out of the closet” about it (usually because of the new prudes or literary snobs). They’re happy to finally meet someone else who reads romance too.

4. The avid reader. They probably were never in the closet, and are happy to meet another reader. They hound you about your favorite authors, ask you if you have a blog, and are already arranging a book swap.

5. The shocked friend. This one is a bit of a wild card. It’s usually a friend or family member who has known you for a while, but just didn’t know you read romance. Their reaction could be anything really. Like my interaction above.

What was the most WTF reaction you’ve ever gotten? Prude, snob, shocked friend? Something I couldn’t even imagine? Love to know!

When I’m not fretting about what to post on DIK, I’m occasionally posting on my blog, The Romance Girl’s Guide to Fiction.

Welcome Our New DIK Team Member: D.L.

Another new team member - so raise your rum drinks and give a welcome toast to...

Please welcome D.L.

1. What is the screen name that you want to go by?
D.L.

2. What is your date of birth? (day and month only!)
1/28

3. What are your 5 favorite books? (these won't necessarily be the books you'll bring to the island with you)
*Scandal in Spring- Lisa Kleypas
*Private Arrangements- Sherry Thomas
*Agnes and the Hitman- Jennifer Crusie
*Romancing Mr. Bridgerton- Julia Quinn
*Lover Unbound- JR Ward

4. Which heroes would you bring to the island and why? (these won't necessarily be the heroes you'll bring to the island with you)
*Matthew Swift from Scandal in Spring- Lisa Kleypas
*Marc “Hunt” Hunter from Unlawful Contact- Pamela Clare
*John Matthew from JR Ward’s BDB
*Nick Romeo from Romeo, Romeo- Robin Kaye
*Devin Freedman from What the Librarian Did- Karina Bliss

5. What is your favorite movie that is based on book?
Fight Club! I’ll watch anything with Edward Norton, but this is my favorite.

6. Name one fun thing you would bring to the island?
Besides my rapier wit? Um… cookies?

7. Why are you interested in coming to the island?
For the romance, the hot men, and for the love of those drinks with the colorful little umbrellas! And really, when it comes down to it, what could possibly be more fun than kicking back and talking about romance novels with a bunch of people who love them as much as I do?

You can visit D.L. on her blog: The Romance Girl's Guide to Fiction