Penis slang: wiener, pecker, tally-whacker, schlong, dong, wang, cock, willy, prick, sizzlestick, log, equipment, junk, eleventh finger, love missile, dipstick, hot beef injection, lance, poker, pole, wanker, tube steak, spunky monkey, skin flute, manhood, hooded knight/warrior, clit commander, jizzer, kielbasa, pipe, probe, Mister Winky, Mister Happy, one-eye monster, salami, tool, tonsil tickler, meat, man root, yummy doodle, third leg and last but not least Vlad the Impale-HER (a personal favorite slang of mine).
What’d I forget?? Bring on the penis slang!
Now time for famous penises in books! {Famous to me anyway!}
First up: The Largest Penis
The largest penis is romance fiction I’ve read is in a book called “Passion” by Lisa Valdez.
The hero, Mark Randolph Hawkmore Earl of Langley is so huge that no woman has been able to fully take his manhood. That is until he met up with Passion. Passion wanted all of Mark and Mark was very, very determined to give Passion every inch of him.
The scene in this book where Mark actually penetrates Passion’s cervix (there’s a “pop” sound”) is beyond erotic and steamy…it’s part horrifying in a fascinating way and completely mind blowing. All I can say is that chapter seven of “Passion” is forever burnt into my brain. Read it! *grin*
Next: The Pierced Penis
My first pierced penis read is also my favorite. It’s “Dangerous Games” by Lora Leigh. The hero is a hard-bodied Navy SEAL Clint “Iceman” McIntyre, who likes a bit of bondage and hardcore sex. He's one of my all time favorite heroes - the full package- smart, sexy, good looking, a bit dangerous, tough and vulnerable to his lady love and more.
He also loves his pierced penis (and so do others) because according to him it gives more pleasure to the woman he’s banging and himself.
Chapters eleven and twelve must be read with a tall glass of ice water, a fan set to high speed and hot hunk ready for action. *waggles eyebrows*
Next: The Alien Penis
Have you ever read a Scifi book about a sexy human-looking alien with an amazing penis designed not just to pleasure women, but to drive them mad with multiple orgasms? I have.
The series is “The Cat Star Chronicles” by Cheryl Brooks and the male penises are amazing. The first book in the series is "Slave" and it's still my favorite of the series and my favorite Sci-fi romance book to date.
They put human male penises to shame! First these alien penises can move- like a third arm. These males have complete control of their penis and it can do wonders in a woman.
Secondly, the head is flared and when excited the foreskin sort of blooms and oozes a fluid that from one drop gives a woman an orgasm – it’s more intense if she tastes it. Also they can’t and don’t masturbate. To relieve an erection they must have a female and when they are sexually satisfied they purr like the cat that ate the cream (and sometimes they do!).
Those are my top three stand-in-my-brain-penises in books.
What are some of YOUR three books that have memorable penises in them? Let’s go, I’m taking notes here! *grabs handy dandy Books to be Bought List and pen*
