Desert Island Giveaway Grand Finale

Well, all great things must come to and end. *sniffles* (Kris: Boo hoo, blah, blah.) But we hope you all have enjoyed the DIK Winter Giveaway!

We've certainly had a great time giving away all of these wonderful books and gift cards because we love you and have appreciated all of the support you have given us throughout 2010. (Kris: Actually I said that we should keep them on the island, but was outnumbered. And they call themselves Book Sluts. Hmpf!)

You all can visit us on the island whenever you'd like to party in the huts and have a tropical drink or two. (Kris: No they can’t. Remember we decided we were sick and tired of all the guests hitting on our menz. Yeah. Bugger off already.)

So we thought we'd end the most awesome DIK Giveaway with a bang. Ok, this is more like a nuclear explosion but you get the idea. (Kris: Anyone else thinking about Freud and DIKs and bangs and eruptions?? Oh, you so are. Fibbers.)

Because the finale is so big (Kris: See!) we've decided that we're going to give you a longer time to enter (Kris: *waggles eyebrows*). That's right, we're going to give everyone until the 8th of January, 2011 at 11:59pm (pacific) to enter.

For the Grand Finale we are splitting (Kris: *orifice clench*) up the books into separate categories for m/m and m/f and will draw a winner for each lot. Your read that correctly... two people will win a bunch of loot!

When you comment don’t forget to leave your email address and you will need to let us know which category you're going for - or if you want both. (Kris: *nods* We’re very flexible at DIK.) Easy peasy, right? Right.

So what's up for grabs???

Category 1: An incredibly spectacular m/m package: (not that kind of package - mind out of the gutters, people!) (Kris: HA!)

1 print copy of 72 hours by Clare London

1 ebook copy of Tigers and Devils by Sean Kennedy

1 ebook copy of Wings of Equity by Sean Kennedy

1 print copy of Jacob's Ladder by ZA Maxfield

1 ebook copy of Electric Melty Tingles by KZ Snow

1 ebook copy of Hammer & Air by Amy Lane

(Click on book names for blurbs)

Category 2: A astoundingly amazing prize package of m/f!

1 print copy of Three Nights with a Scoundrel by Tessa Dare

A 2 in 1 print copy of  Dangerous to Touch by Jill Sorenson and Protecting His Witness by Marie Ferrarella

1 print copy of Play of Passion by Nalini Singh

1 print copy of Bring on the Night by Jeri Smith-Ready

1 print copy of Skin Heat by Ava Gray

(Click on book names for blurbs)

Finally, we’d like to thank all the wonderfully generous authors who donated books to the DIK Winter Giveaway. We couldn’t have had such a terrific experience without you all. You guys rock!

Once again we wish everyone a 2011 full of good reads, good luck!

(Kris: I suddenly feel the need for a cigarette...)

Five Things I will Never Do Again

I thought for my last day, since the trade winds have soothed me into a contemplative mood, I’d explore my own list of Five Things I Will Never Do Again. Things that no matter how busy I get, or bored I am, or anxious, or cranky, or dispirited I am, you will never, ever see me do. These aren’t like resolutions or anything, they’re simply things I’ve done that I’ve outgrown, one way or another.

Okay, probably these should go in ascending order.

Number 5:

Attempt murder

I will probably never again pull the plug from a desk lamp halfway out of its socket, turn the light switch to the ‘on’ position, and put a hanger on it to “collect” electricity with which to electrocute my older sister. Yes I was probably five years old at the time, but five years had been more than enough to teach me that living with my sister was not going to be a piece of cake. Electricity. It goes through wires. If I could just get enough of it on that hanger… The concept was daring. Noble even. The execution? Was very nearly mine.

All right. It wasn’t a good thing. But it’s pretty funny in retrospect because no one got hurt. I went through the air and made a dent in one wall of our smallish bedroom, and set fire to the other at the same time. Good times.

Number 4:

Smoke cigarettes

A lot of the characters in my books smoke, most famously Yamane from Drawn Together. Most of my readers attribute this to the fact that I’m a mom and I have everyone’s health in mind, so I’m making a stand for a tobacco-free lifestyle from a position of love. Not so. Rory was a character in the book, and the truest words about my attitude toward smoking came from a different character altogether, the cardiologist Edward, who say’s “I quit about five years ago, but when I’m under pressure I still feel like I’d kill just to lick someone who smokes. I tell my patients that nobody ever really quits.”

I don’t smoke. I did it briefly and quit because I really thought I had better things to do. But that doesn’t mean if the American Cancer Society came out and said Psych! tomorrow, We were wrong, cigarettes don’t kill you or those around you and we just found out they’re terrific for you, that I wouldn’t start again. There would be tire tracks smoking from my healthy little house to the 7 Eleven.

Number Three:

Drink Alcohol

I know this makes me boring and for years I gave that hard drinking, tortured artist thing a whirl. I’m just no good at it. It makes me cranky sure, and I can work up a good head of righteous indignation and angst all over the place, weather permitting. But it also gives me a foreign accent and a tendency to order drinks for handsome men who are not my husband. Once or twice I’ve surely been possessed by the late great Tallulah Bankhead and done some really unforgettable things I wish I could remember, but have heard about only second hand.

The one thing I’ve discovered, though, about being almost the only person at a gathering who doesn’t drink is that everyone wants to know why. The truth is so boring that I can’t even tell it with a straight face. So I prefer to maintain a mystery. With women I make jokes. “Sure, why don’t I just install landing lights up my thighs and make things even easier.” But with men? First I tell them that I lose complete control of my libido, and then I hint that they’d very likely never survive the outcome of that. That’s usually good for a great deal of attention, and really. Who doesn’t like that?

Number 2:

Relocate

I will never move again. Not from this house, not for a mouse, not with a box, not with a fox. Not on a train, not while I’m sane. I will not move again. Just burn it down around me Gilbert Grape, there is nothing to see here.

Number One:

Take Anything For Granted

That’s right, you knew I had to end it on one of my patented folksy, feel good, preachy bits. It’s true. I don’t think I take anything for granted. Now, sure as shit, I’m thinking there’s something I’ve forgotten and it’s going to disappear like that, snap, because I forgot to be grateful. Which isn’t really how it happens or why you do gratitude in the first place is it?

My stars. I’m the luckiest person on earth and I know it. I love who I live with, I love what I do. My family is good, even my obnoxious sister who really (mostly) doesn’t still cause those scary dreams that necessitated the comic book deathrays that inhabited my childhood fantasies about her. Work is just more fun than I deserve. And I got to spend three days boring the pants off normal people while I’ve been here on the island.

Thanks so much for the lovely mini vacation! I know I’ll be looking on fondly while others inhabit this great big dent I’ve left in the sand. ;-)

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

Shopping With Will

Anywhoo, I’m lying there under my umbrella, complete with a Virgin Mary, extra spicy just like I like, because my baby the cabana boy made it for me, when my satellite phone rang. Even though I'm at the Desert Island for three days it seems my fourteen-year-old son has invited all his friends, most of whom are cute fourteen-year-old girls, over for a cookout today. As it happens I have a pretty cool backyard, provided the kids pick up the dog stuff and they don't leave all their pool toys around. I've got an outdoor kitchen with a very nice grill (and yes, my children know not to call it a barbecue because even though we're from California we're not total heathens) and a palapa on the top that makes it look like a Polynesian tiki hut. We have a scattering of tiki torches and a pink flamingo or two.

It seems that despite the fact that I went grocery shopping three times this weekend, he has a list, and puppy dog eyes I can hear over the phone, so I thought I’d grab my BFF Will Lanier from ePistols at Dawn and ask him if he wants to go shopping with me.

Will agrees to do the deed and oversees my initial preparations. He pretends he thinks my Tiki Bar is tacky to my face, but when my back is turned he pockets my cocktail umbrellas. He knows I know; it’s our thing. I leave them out for him like Reese’s pieces and he followed the trail to the bosom of our family. I’m all tricksy like that.

Will: Does this outfit say, “I’m just here for the food samples” to you?

Me: Uh. I don't know if there is a proper way to dress at Sam's Club, Will.

Will: I’m not used to going out with someone as obviously “mom” as you are. I mean this in the nicest way, honey, but I didn't want to overshadow. It's your stay at the Dick place, after all.

Me: That's D-I-K like an acronym, Will, it stands for Desert Island Keepers.

Will: I saw the pictures of the men on that website, Z, and I beg to differ. Anyway, you say potato; I say whatever. What do we need to buy?

Me: It says here he needs hamburger patties, and sides. He wants to grill the burgers and impress his friends.

Will: You're letting that child control fire?

Me: He's grilled before. His eyebrows grew back and the dog forgave him. I thought maybe we could make little Pineapple Coconut smoothies. I have a blender and there is supposedly electricity going to the outlets. Unless the breaker tripped again.

Will: Still having trouble with the electrician? I could talk to him for you.

Me: The last time you talked to someone for me, you disappeared for a weekend and he ended up writing his memoirs and buying a private island. So no thank you, Will.

Will: That was before Dr. Adorable.

Me: Like I'd take a chance. I also need some assorted crackers and cheese, and maybe some fresh fruit.

Will: Who are these kids? Jeez. You’re supposed to give them a blue box of Mac and Cheese and say, “You know where the microwave is.” You know what Kelly loves? He likes those cocktail smokies with a jar of grape jelly and some chili sauce.

Me: Seriously?

Will: Are you kidding? He thinks he's all Mr. Epicure when he's with Jae and he's all like, "Oh, Jae, may I grill you a swordfish steak with wasabi crème anglaise?" But I think he's been secreting away squeeze cheese in the trunk of his car. At least, **at this Will shudders delicately** I hope that's what that smell is. I can't be on top of everything like I used to be, if you know what I mean.

Me: I hope I don't, Will. Really. Okay, back to my kids. There is going to be swimming, so I'll need waters and paper plates. Xander said he wanted to serve crudités.

Will: Don't your kids like kid things? Like hot dogs and Scooter Pies and red Twizzlers?

Me: Well. Sure they do.

Will: By the time I was fourteen I could eat anything I wanted because I paid my own way. But I needed to stay strong so I couldn't just indulge, you know? You can’t eat junk because you don't stay healthy long if you don't take care of yourself. It’s not like anyone…

Me: Aw, dang, baby. You can play a little every now and again, right?

Will: Well, when Dr. Adorable's not looking. He's all about the healthy.

Me: What if you remake that list for Xander and put everything you like on it, I'm sure he wouldn't mind, and we'll eat whatever you want tonight. You can stay and make gently supercilious fun of my teenagers. What do you say?

Will: Really?

Me: I swear William Lanier, you act as if you've never been part of a fam— Of course you can stay, sweetheart. Invite Jae and Kells. Invite Dr. Adorable and tell him, "My house, my rules." Eat what you like and I'll clean it all up afterwards. That's why I had kids in the first place; so I could get that lifetime of uncompensated servitude out of my system.

Will: Can I be one of your kids?

Me: Don’t be a dumbass baby, you already are. Now stop being silly and put on your nasty red shoes. Junk food doesn't buy itself.

Z.. Maxfield - About Me

Today our guest author is Z.A. Maxfield who has written such wonderful books as Crossing Borders, St. Nachos, Physical Therapy, The Long Way Home, and Drawn Together. Her newest release, ePistols at Dawn, will be available on Tuesday, July 7 through Samhain Publishing.

Wave

*************


Favorite Reading Position
I would have to say I'm prone to the prone position. I like to lie face down with my feet up in the air, resting on my elbows.

Best love song
At Last, the Etta James version.

Favorite Heroine
Hermione from Harry Potter

Author everyone loves but you don’t
I don't really have an author I don't like. There are some books I haven't gotten through. I'm not saying which ones though.

If you could be in one book/series/world which would you pick
Definitely Harry Potter.

How old is your inside voice
I think in thirteen-year-old terms. I'm just as awkward, eager, anxious, and inept as I ever was then but I have money for nicer things.

Favorite sex song
Led Zeppelin's Kashmir turned as loud as it will go.

If you could be a hero who would you be
MacGyver. That way when I'm stuck with nothing to do on those endless Orchestra Chaperone field trips I could amuse myself with the contents of my purse and maybe save the world while I'm at it.

What heroine is most like you
Sadly most heroines wouldn't be like me because I'm not heroine material. I identified with Harriet Smith from Emma, the not too bright "natural daughter of somebody" because she kept
falling in love with anyone who was kind to her, and yet I have the brains and wit to be the angry girl sidekick to most of my heroes.

What heroine would you like to be
At first I thought... I don't want to be anyone else. But no, that's not entirely true, I want to be Sookie Stackhouse. I really enjoy those books.

Boxers, Briefs, boxer briefs, kilt (I say we add commando)
I assume you mean to look at not to wear. Because great big floppy white cotton granny panties isn't on that list. I've become rather fond of the jock, the kind that's really underwear. The kind with the elaborate elastic that frames a perfect man ass in all the right ways. (you did ask.)

Favorite book set on a tropical island
How sad is it that all I could think of is Michner's Hawaii. Oh. I know. Parts of The Shadow and the Star by Laura Kinsale are set in Hawaii. Long Live Laura Kinsale. That's all I'm saying. *cries out in anguish, Oh WHY, Laura! I wait I yearn, and still no new novels from you **sobs**

What hero is most like your significant other
Professor X

What hero would you like to be your significant other
My husband is the guy I'd like to be my significant other, despite the ravages of time and his inability to take me seriously. Well, maybe because of that second one...

If you were stuck on a desert island what 3 things would you bring
my family, (does that count? there are five of them) The complete works of J.K. Rowling, and this little mexican restaurant near my house called El Farolito.

Favorite drink to bring to the DIK party
Thai Iced Tea