Some Of The Best of DIK From 2008

If you weren't yet familiar with DIK in 2008 you might have missed quite a few hilarious posts. This one told us a few reasons that Lisabea loved about the island (and I have to agree with her entirely) and even links to a couple other very funny post.  Enjoy!

Ten Things I Love
About DiK

10. On Line Community of Chicks Who Loves to Read
and We Don't Get Up in Everyone's Grill
About Asshat Stuff

(Although we have been controversial... by accident!)

You chicks rock cuz you're all about the joy of reading and the celebration of the craft(iness of writ-ors).


9. Unapologetic Ojectification of Smexy Menz


Works for me!

8. Great Times Squabbling Over Heroes


I heart you guys. But will still steal your liquor.
And your men.


7. Diversity and Open Mindedness.

So cute.


6. New Friends and Old Friends


Nothing to do with New or Old Friends but DAMN I love me some RC!


5. M/M Week

Ok maybe not THIS one exactly...but still
...I had to post it again.


4. That fucking hilarious post TPig and I did
with Josh Lanyon (aka Good Sport)

Yes. I have no shame.

3. That fucking hilarious post CJ did.

Neither does she.



2. Author Interviews

Cute Red Head. Funny. Intelligent.
Likes long walks on the beach and men with wings.

1. You Guys. You rock.
And I appreciate the support and friendship.

Look at those drummies!!


Thanks and Have a Happy
Healthy, Stretch Pants wearing
Pig Out on Thursday (if you're in the States)
Otherwise..er.. have a great weekend!!

LB Shares Photos

Last month I was lucky enough to spent a couple weeks with G in Asia. We traveled like crazy people, two days here, three there, G working and I...working...and even as crabby and exhausted as I was from all the travel and working, we managed to have some fun (when I wasn't crabby and exhausted or working). I haven't had time to share any photos until now, so lucky you, here I am on the island with my photos!

Some Things I Loved About My Trip To Asia

Korean Animal Sculptures

I told G I wanted one of these for the house. He didn't get me one. :)

 Alcohol with lime

(I'm sure you can get this anywhere but I discovered it in Thailand.) Take rum, add lime and brown sugar, and you get LB asleep in a lounge chair for two hours.

 Palace Guards

I spent the day taking in Seoul and the lovely woman I was with took about forty photos of me making a peace sign. I gotta tell you, it never grew old. Peace!

Street Musicians

There was so much I loved about Hong Kong. It's vibrant and urban and international and everywhere there's something new and exciting to see. Places to shop. Weird and wonderful things to eat. Here's a street musician. We were on our way to the Fish Market to pick out our dinner.

Mango and Sweet Sticky Rice

We bought this at a hawker market in Thailand for like fifty cents. Extremely fresh Mango, the rice is sweetened with fresh coconut. We ate this little pan in about fifty seconds flat. Delish.

A Cave Full Of Penises

I am not making it up. That cave is full of penises.

Strange Bar Fun

Beer is served while the fish enjoy feeding on your feet. I guess it's some sort of novelty, but trust me when I tell you I declined sticking my toes into that water.

Buddhist Temple

This is Hong Kong again. Sunset from the Gondola

Coffee

Okay, I enjoy coffee everywhere, but I binged on cappuccinos while I was away.


Fruit

One of the things I loved best about my trip (and G took real pleasure in this, too) was being introduced to all marvelous and new-to-me foods. While there were many things I wouldn't eat (Chicken Feet and Jelly Fish and Hairy Crabs) the fresh fruit and veggies were heavenly.

So there you go--a few things I loved most about my trip to Asia.

AND...enter to win a copy of my new release Simple Gifts!

LB

Thursday Pick Me Up

Just because.

DIK Ladies, Yet Authors. It's like bringing home the bacon AND frying it up in the pan!

Yes we have guest authors here on DIK all the time and we LOVE them! We always love to hear about them and their books. But did you know that we have four of our very own DIK ladies that are published authors? No? Well let me tell you a little bit about them (in DIK name alpha order).

First we have Carolyn Crane aka Carolyn Jean aka CJ. Carolyn released her first novel with Bantam/Spectra Publishing, Mind Games, in March 2010, The first book in the Disillusionist trilogy. It’s an UF tale with romance within – yum! Soon we’ll have book 2 in the series, Double Cross, on September 28, 2010. Woohoo! Can’t wait for this one!

Our next author, KT Grant, aka Katiebabs, hails from New Joisey, uh, I mean New Jersey and had her first release, Lovestruck, in May 2010.  This is an f/f contemporary May/December romance with Noble Romance Publishing. She also had a novella release in May, The Gentleman’s Loving Spy in the Once Upon a Threesome anthology from Ravenous Romance (fyi the Ravenous link to the book seems to be broken so I added the Kindle edition link for you). She just had yet another release in July 2010, For The Love of Mollie, from Decadent Publishing which is an m/f contemporary romance.Good job KB!  Oh, I mean, KT!

Next up we have Katie Reus aka uh, Katie Reus. lol Actually she’s also known as author Savannah Stuart. Katie had her first release in 2008 with Running From The Past, published by Ellora’s Cave Publishing. Since that time she’s been a busy little bee. Katie writes suspense and erotic romance. Here are her other releases:

Everything To Lose (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) January 2009

Dangerous Deception (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) May 2009

Finding Hope (Wild Rose Press) August 2009

and a yet untitled romantic suspense from Carina Press in Feb. 2011 

And (yeah, if that’s not enough) she also writes as Savannah Stuart

Adrianna’s Cowboy (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) August 2009

Unleashed Temptation (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) October 2009

Miami Heat (Loose Id) January 2010

Worth the Risk (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) February 2010

Better Late Than Never (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) may 2010 (free read)

Power Unleashed (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) July 2010

Savannah’s next release will be Tempting Alibi (Ellora’s Cave Publishing) on August 19. 

And last, but by no means least, Lisabea aka LB Gregg. LB released her very first m/m book on February 6, 2009 with Aspen Mountain Press – the first in the Men of Smithfield series called Gobsmacked. Since that time she's released 3 other great books in the MoS series:

Happy Ending (AMP) April 2009

Cover Me (AMP) October 2009

In and Out (AMP) May 2010 

Then LB released her first book in the Romano & Albright series called Catch Me If You Can in March of 2010 with Samhain Publishing. Book 2 in that series, Trust Me If You Dare, will be released in December of this year with the same publisher. Her next novella, Dudleytown, comes out on October 29, 2010 with Aspen Mountain Press. This will be a two author anthology with Josh Lanyon called Double Feature. In December LB will also have a Christmas novella release with Carina Press. The working title of the novella is Mistletoe – seems fitting for the season, doesn’t it?

So there you have it - our four resident authors. We’re all very proud of you and your accomplishments ladies! Keep up the good work!

Some (more) Tips On Finishing That Manuscript

LB Gregg again. Day III. Or as it's known in some parts: Shameless self-promotion cubed.

A quick reminder that what follows is not a top ten list, although now that I've spent yet another night slavishly whacking this fucker together, it still looks like a top ten list. That's okay. Go with it.

This post is the second in a two part series I have dubbed~

The Dos and Don'ts of Writing (and finishing) Your First Draft

... in Three Part Harmony...

with a Rainbow of Colors

...and Personalities.

(i.e. another Lisabea Top 10 9 List)

As you may recall, I invited my pal Josh Lanyon and his pal (now our pal, too) Harper Fox to discuss everyone's favorite topic--sex. I mean writing.

Why are we not discussing sex?

Ahem. Writing. More specifically, we're talking about finishing the first draft. Yada yada. On with the show.

LB Gregg's RED ink because she's writing this in blood. Muahahahaha.
Josh Lanyon seems a little BLUE.
Harper Fox is our GREEN M&M today. Nom nom. Nom. She should be Red cuz of the hair. I should be green cuz of my eyes.

I should have planned this better.

Here we go!

#5 Do keep your thesaurus beside you at all times;

Don't stop to use it.

You try finding a fun picture for 'thesaurus'.

LB: baking, blazing, blistering, boiling, broiling, burning, muy caliente, febrile, fevered, feverish, feverous, fiery, flaming,heated, humid, igneous, incandescent, like anoven, nom nom, on fire, ovenlike, parching, piping, recalescent, red*, roasting, scalding, scorching, searing, sizzling, smoking, steaming,

#6 Do shamelessly structure everything around your favourite juicy bits and sex scenes. If the edifice collapses, let it go down with a squelch.

LB: I like that. I'm printing it and putting it on my bulletin board. All love scenes should squelch.

Harper: (fans herself / squelches delicately) I made it to your bulletin board?!

LB: You complete me, Harper.

Josh: I'm thinking maybe I should leave you two alone for a bit. :-D I'll go revise my manuscript some more.

Harper: It's okay, you can come back. I'm weary now and calming down. Hormonal surges only available in business hours at my time of life, I'm afraid. But it was fun, Lisabea...

#6 (b)Don't be afraid to let go of a plot-line that's not panning out. Tcha, six hours of my life I can't get back!

Josh: That's a hard one, but it's painfully true. Which is where keeping an elephant's graveyard file can help. You're not ripping it out, you're...saving it for later.

Harper: I have lots of files like that. Ahhh, d'you remember "Flynn's POV bin"? That's a rich source. Oh, here's another "don't"...

#7 don't use the same dead elephant twice.

Even by accident. Sheesh, that was a close call.

LB: We all have characters named Finn? I move to ban the name Finn from further m/m novels. All in favor?

Josh:Flynn, you wacko. Have you been hitting the spiked lapsang souchong again? But I agree in principle. No more Flynns or Finns. Unless we do sequels of the originals. Is it just me or are there flashfire fads in m/m character names?

LB: Do you have a Finch? I'm worried. Suddenly.

Josh: Seriously, though, those old files are very useful. Stories that I dug out of my "deleted" files...Cards on the Table, The Ghost Wore Yellow Socks, and I Spy Something Bloody. Keep it all. You never know when something is going to prove useful.

LB: Without the now deceased Mr. Riley file--oh shame and woe-- In and Out wouldn't exist. I delete much of the day to day stuff--they're all just words-- but the good stuff? I squirrel those away.

Harper:Flynn, Finn, Shminn. I can't even remember. All I know is, he had a POV and it needed to go. (Not true. I endlessly adore him.) Yes, flashfires, definitely. The author in the very next review down from minehad a Matt and Aaron, too. We both turned up wearing the same frock. I'm sure nobody noticed.

#8 Do warn your loved ones. It's kind of like R&D PMS.

Don't take a huff because a Loved One says s/he doesn't like a character's name. "Name" is different to "idea", "concept" and "whole thing".

(Recent bitter experience, anyone?)

Josh: There is power in names. Ask any fantasy writer. It's very hurtful when one's dearest and nearest snicker at a protagonist's name. What is so darned funny about Colin Bliss? I ask you!

LB: I guess this isn't a good time to mention Mark Hardewick? NOT snickering.

Harper: I swear down to you, and will go find it if you insist, that I have a Star Trek novel in my - er - collection (that I'm looking after for a friend) where the aliens are called Alt and Macro. Swear down.

LB: G calls Caesar Romano --Salad with Cheese.

Josh: Now that's romance. Actually, that blend of comedy and sexy isromantic.

On that note: #9 Do ignore the input of your SO; Don't ignore the input of your CP.

Josh: But pretend that you value the input of your SO just as much as you value the input of your CP.

Harper: Don't pretend you know what a CP is when you don't. I thought I'd try and wing it but all I can think of is "civilian partner". (gasps) Is that it?! Do you folks have, like, backup SOs for when you're off-duty?!

LB: CP is the person who, traditionally, uses a red pen ( pre-editor ) to poke you right in the manuscript. In this case, we'll pretend that some critique specialists use blue ink.

Josh: Critique Partner. We only hurt the ones we love.

Harper: Ah! Ah-ha-ha-ha. I'm relieved, undeceived, and just that touch disappointed.

~~CONTEST~~

There are 9 Dos and Don'ts (well 8--one is just a Don't)--you'll have to also refer to the conversation from yesterday. All you need to do is guess who came up with which pair (numbered below). Some of these are pretty easy -okay all of them should be easy. We have distinct voices.

Here they are:

1. Do finish & Don't whine.
2. Do save everything. And at the very least email yourself a copy of the day's work.Don't come home late and drunk from a party and start working on your rough draft.
3. Do fall in love with your leads, even the b*stards, as soon as you possibly can. Passion lubricates graft. Don't throw discarded ideas anywhere you wouldn't want to reach into and get them back. The bin is okay before discarded Chinese food. Not after.
4. When you're stuck, DO skip to the part where you know what happens next. Don't fool around on the internet with your friends. Or at least--know when to stop.
5. Do keep your thesaurus beside you at all times; Don't stop to use it.
6. Do shamelessly structure everything around your favourite juicy bits and sex scenes. If the edifice collapses, let it go down with a squelch. Don't be afraid to let go of a plot-line that's not panning out. Tcha, six hours of my life I can't get back!
7. Don't use the same dead elephant twice. Even by accident. Sheesh, that was a close call.
8. Do warn your loved ones. It's kind of like R&D PMS. Don't take a huff because a Loved One says s/he doesn't like a character's name. "Name" is different to "idea", "concept" and "whole thing".
9. Do ignore the input of your SO; Don't ignore the input of your CP.

I'll choose three winners. What's up for grabs? The upcoming Lanyon, A Vintage Affair; the upcoming Fox, Life After Joe; and a signed copy of Smart Ass 2: Pressure Point (aka Happy Ending in PRINT) from yours truly, LB Gregg.

I'll announce the winner on Wednesday, June 23rd.

LB

Some Tips On Finishing That Manuscript

LB Gregg here. I'm back. I know you're pleased. This is not a top ten list, although now that I've spent all night putting it together, it sure as hell looks like one. This post is actually the first in a two part series I like to call~

The Dos and Don'ts of Writing (and finishing) Your First Draft

... in Three Part Harmony...

with a Rainbow of Colors

...and Personalities.

( In other words--Christ what a hot mess, which, incidentally, looks exactly like another LB Top 10 List, Little Miss.)

I've invited my pal Josh Lanyon and his pal (now my pal and soon to be your pal, too) Harper Fox to discuss everyone's favorite topic--writing. More specifically, finishing the dreaded first draft. All those empty pages. All those ideas drying up faster than the ink they're written with. All the distractions, internal and external, that keep us from our end goal--creating a full manuscript.

Tomorrow, after part II, we'll dismount with a guessing game. The lucky winners will each receive one book from one of the three of us. Does that make any kind of sense? Yes.

So:

LB Gregg's RED ink reinforces the unwavering passion she has about this gripping subject matter.
Josh Lanyon commands the scene in BLUE.
Harper is sleek and somehow even more delectably British in GREEN.

#1 Do finish & Don't whine.

LB: This is particularly important if you are behind schedule and your mentor has been, er, encouraging you for five months to finish without whining. Not that I, LB Gregg, have any experience here.

Josh: It's okay to whine to the select few, but you have to keep moving even as you whine.

Harper: If I finish, can I whine afterwards? There's got to be an outlet, a proper time and place, a... the word I'm looking for is whin(e)dow.

#2 Do save everything.
And at the very least email yourself a copy of the day's work.

Don't come home late and drunk from a party

and start working on your rough draft.

LB: RE: Drinking. This is also good advice for blogging, posting, commenting, and speaking with your SO about that recent visit to Nordstrom. Those shoes were on sale.

Josh: Yes, I should add here that friends don't let friends drink and write. Especially blog posts. Thank God the three of us only drink tea.

Harper: Indeed it is a blessing, though lapsang souchong works well with a splash of rum, oddly enough. Very cleansing. Clears the cerebellum in no time.

LB: She's onto something there.

# 3 Do fall in love with your leads, even the b*stards, as soon as you possibly can. Passion lubricates graft.

Yes. I've used it before. Still funny!

LB: **12 year old boy snicker** She said lubricate.**snicker snicker snicker**

Josh: Also, make sure you sufficiently disguise the fictional bastards from the real life bastards they're based on. Assuming you lift from real life. Well, I mean there is that write-what-you-know thing.

Harper: Hah. I did say "lubricate". I'm not afraid to use naughty words now, even long ones. And yes, Miz Bea, I know what you're up to up there. Wow, Josh - did somebody recognise himself? :-D

Josh: Everyone seems to recognize himself! It's very disconcerting.

LB: I totally don't have this problem. Unless it's regarding Adrien. He was obviously created solely for me to love.

Harper: I did have someone who wanted to recognise himself, and I didn't have the heart to disillusion him! I'm flattered, really. Should have added a "very loosely based on some aspects of the life of" acknowledgement.

#3 (b) Don't throw discarded ideas anywhere you wouldn't want to reach into and get them back. The bin is okay before discarded Chinese food. Not after.

Josh: **Snicker** I hate it when the sweet and sour gets all over my finest work. By the way, it helps if you name files something that you can remember a few months from now. Initials can be troubling. KWIM?

Harper: (snicker) (OMG, you've made me do it now. I'll be writing multi-billion-selling vampire quadrilogies any second now) You said kwim!!!

LB: I'm not in on this joke, but if that kwim is quivering, I'm outie.

#4 When you're stuck, DO skip to the part where you know what happens next.

Don't fool around on the Internet with your friends.

Or at least--know when to stop.

Josh: I like this one a lot -- sometimes I skip to the next project where I know what's going on.

Harper: I would just like to know what's going on. Generally.

LB: I usually don't know what's going on. Who are you people?

Josh: Shh, shh. Have a Life Saver, Sweetbea.

Harper: Yes, everything's fine. We're just the monsters you created.

/pt one

Stay tuned for the stunning conclusion--and keep note! You'll have to decide who came up with which set of rules--Harper, LB or Josh.

~LB

New Island Girl-Harper Fox

So hello, Lisabea/LB Gregg here. It's great to be back on the Island for three days. Thank you, Tracy. I love this place. I'm scarce lately--but I am truly a fan of DIK.

And, you know me--I always swing by the island with some friends.

Last week while I was vacationing in a Central American paradise, my pal Josh Lanyon strong-armed NoseInABook to resurrect (at least temporarily) ManLoveMonday. The nerve. Really. But he used his power for good--he introduced our new friend, Harper Fox.

Obviously I'm green with envy that he gets to have all the fun. So I paid invited Harper--(and Josh)-- to keep me company for the next three days.

There will be gifts. Later you greed hounds. SATURDAY.

Without further blather, let's welcome Harper Fox , author of the delicious new m/m novel Life After Joe, which is hot off the Carina Press on the 28th of this month.

First, Harper gives us a peek at her keeper shelf--that IS what we do--and, oh my, here is the weighty list she donated to our DIK community library.

Harper Fox's DIK

The Arrival, Shaun Tan

A silent graphic novel. This is my favourite book out of 45 years of more-or-less being able to read, and there's not a word in it. Instantly globally comprehensible and yet mystic and totally beautiful, a story of immigration, any stranger arriving anywhere in any strange land. It's a perfect thing.

Vanity Fair, WM Thackeray

A canny few words in this one! All of them contributing deliciously to the jouncing, rollicking glory of it. All human life is here. Unsanitised and clearly seen and completely compassionate. That's what flies it for me – how can you be so crystalline about the depths of human nature, and still have so much love?

Portrait of a Lady, Henry James

Sumptuous evocation of Old Europe, its delights and pitfalls. Riveting what-if storyline – what if you give a young, intelligent woman a huge amount of money and set her free? It's a cathedral of a book. You can go back there forty-odd times and still not see everything.

Middlemarch, George Eliot

Love-hate relationship with this one. I need to go there and kill off Mr Causaubon, the leeching, life-draining blight on Dorothea's soul. But of course he dies anyway, and then you see that Dorothea's tragically lost in life-denial anyway, and – well, I'd set fire to the parsonage.

Cranford, Elizabeth Gaskell

If there weren't a million gentle, detailed, observant reasons to love this book anyway, there's also good advice on how to treat old lace when it's been through a cat.

The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova

I lose myself in this one every time. Plot within winding, intricate, labyrinthine plot. The best vampire novel I've ever read, and an unforgettable evocation of a dark old world reaching out hungry tendrils into modern day.

About Me--Harper Fox-- Q&A

Favorite Reading Position

Just to the left of mid-Victoriana where I can see right through their plot. Or belly-down on the lawn in the sun. I think I can remember how that felt. Damn British summer.

Best love song

Love Song for a Vampire, Annie Lennox. I'm not ashamed. Every nape-hair rigid and quivering, every time.

Favorite Heroine

Becky Sharp in Vanity Fair. Little minx! Brilliant, seminal, entirely human portrayal of a survivor.

Author everyone loves but you don’t

Okay, I have to say it. Stephanie Meyer. Go on – stone me. “Snickered”, three times in the first thirty pages. I just couldn't get past it. Snickered! Why, everybody knows it's “Mars'd”.

If you could be in one book/series/world which would you pick

I'd be in Mary Renault's Fire From Heaven. Not any of the later ones, because that would mean I'd failed in my mission to make Alexander keep Hephaistion at home, and not pack him off on campaign like a damn fool.

How old is your inside voice

Um... Which one? Can you hear them too? Noooo! Cleanse the hive! Cleanse the hive!

Favorite sex song

Has to be Peter Gabriel's The Rhythm of the Heat. Oh that long remorseless drum outtro. Almost anything can be accomplished. LB interrupts **OMG I LOVE THAT SONG**

If you could be a hero who would you be

Roney out of Quatermass and the Pit. Um, 1950s Brit scifi series... Brilliant and unflappably good humoured right up to the point he incinerates himself to save the world. Oh, or Cap'n Jack. Harkness, that is, not Sparrow, though t'other is good too. I'd love to try a little feckless pansexuality.

What heroine is most like you

Tragically, poor flipping Charlotte out of Pride & Prejudice. I would so get born into the wrong stratum of society, panic at the prospect of lifelong poverty and spinsterhood, and end up hitched to Mr Collins.

What heroine would you like to be

Isabel Archer, Portrait of a Lady, Henry James. To change the ending. Catch my Isabel following her principles and sticking with that inbred Roman fop. No, I'm for Caspar Goodwood, with his millions and his steely grip, thank you very much and arrivederci.

Boxers, Briefs, boxer briefs, kilt (I say we add commando)

Oh, kilt. I'd love that. Proper plaidie, like Blossom in Highlander. “Och, Connor! Mah plaidie's awa'!” Yes, love, I just bet it is.

Favorite book set on a tropical island

The Beach by Alex Garland, though it gives me the willies. Just don't ask me to read Lord of the Flies again. Some willies are unacceptable.

What hero is most like your significant other

I've racked my diminishing RAM space for this but nobody even comes close. She a blue-eyed, honey-haired, mould-breaking one-off, the Goddess be forever praised.

What hero would you like to be your significant other
Whaaaaaaaaaaat? My SO is my hero. Also my heroine. Also she is learning what a blog is and I like my risotto served free of sauteed hemlock.

If you were stuck on a desert island what 3 things would you bring
Ideally? Quick wits, charm and heroism. Truthfully? Laptop and lightning-harvesting perpetual charger (currently still in R&D). And a damn good pair of tweezers.

BRILLIANT CHOICE OF TWEEZERS!!

Two brows up.

Favorite drink to bring to the DIK party
You know I'm partial to a Cosmo, but I can't carry that across a bar, let alone to a party, so I'll bring a demijohn of our homebrewed elderflower wine. Oh-arrr, 'twill be a good DIK party, moi friends! Cheers, all.

Thanks Harper Fox! And invisible Josh. So, when shall we three meet again?

**stirs cauldron**

Tomorrow! Stay tuned...

~LB

Crabby Abby

Guess what's wrong with Lisabea? Here are the clues...

• She ate a huge slice of birthday cake (butter cream frosting, not that nasty ass fake whip cream crap) with a spoon and her fingers. Sans plate. Because sometimes when delivering cake to mouth, you need to skip the whole neatness counts thing.
• Her pants are tight.
• She needs to put make-up on that zit on her chin, but you know what? SCREW YOU PIMPLE.
• The stupid Olympics keep making her cry. Stupid Olympics. Stupid ice dancers. Stupid.
• She's snarling at the dog.
• G is breathing too loud.
• She almost called the radio station to ask why the hell Alcohol and Ass is even allowed to be on the radio. There ought to be a law.
• She flipped off a student driver. Get out of the way, novice. It's just snow.
• She burst into tears over a kind email.
• She burst into tears over an unkind email.
• That last slice of cake looks so good. It's just sitting there. It's the only piece left. It's small. She deserves that cake. She paid for it. Everyone else had two slices. And, besides, no one else wants it now. It's two days old. It's taking up so much room in the refrigerator. Go on. It's cake. Cake with thick, rich, delicious butter cream frosting. It's a win/win. EAT IT. EAT THE CAKE.

So Good Morning. I'm late with my post because of life.

I was thinking this morning about those tribes that isolate women during their periods. You know, when the women are considered unclean. And how they totally missed the fricken' boat on that one.

There should be an isolation hut (i.e. No Boyz Allowed) during that other, more important, more dangerous time of the month. Women could stomp into the hut after some idiot pisses them off (or makes them cry). We could have fruity beverages, girlfriends who lie to us about the noticeability of our pimples and puffiness, and lots of cake and/or chocolate. And wireless. No Nickelback or whoever the hell sings Alcohol and Ass. We could play guitar hero.

Plus books. Soft pillows. An elliptical to hang our housecoats. What else? A blender? Yes. A blender. And ice.

I suggest we have a PMS hut on the island.

I think I'd like to live in it right now.

LB

Pimpin' with LB

**yes I'm blogging about this again. Sue me. I got nothing.

Over the new year, while my beloved G was spanning the globe to bring home the bacon, I was housebound with the teens for a few days. It was at that time I discovered AWZ--the fabulously over the top German soap opera, and more specifically, I discovered Eskimo Kiss Project. These three savvy, funny women are turning their little neck of the world into a glittery, slobbering, sparkling, love fest of Deniz Ozturk and Roman Wild. Or DeRo, as they're known by fangirlz and boyz everywhere.

Alles Was Zahlt

Deniz and Roman

::wipes drool off computer::

I totally applaud the Eskimo Hordes (or whores, as we in the horde like to say). They rock this thing. They have graciously served man/ladykind by reducing AWZ to it's most delicious state--which I like to call: DeRo & Friends. (With English Subtitles and Snark.)

I'm telling you, a girl could lose DAYS to this.

Anywho, I was hooked. I've blogged a bit about this over the last two months, and attention DIK ladies: I have a new boyfriend guest in my hut. (HE'S MINE HANDS OFF--DIBS!!! I see you looking, Kris and Renee.)

What they did.

The writers of AWZ created a worthy romance between the older, perennial men's ice skating bronze medalist and publicly outted Roman Wild (also LB's new secret gay boy friend) with

a cocky, bi-sexual, mistake-ridden, apologetic, dumb-as-a-brick-at-times, youngster-- the brown-eyed Deniz Ozturk. Yes. He's Turkish.

This story is addictive, obviously, not only because of the depth of these characters, but also because the actors have natural chemistry. ::applause:: Thank you Alles Was Zahlt. Daring. Deep. Dramatic. HAWT.

How much of a good thing is too much of a good thing?

I have to admit, that once the angst and the drama of a story is resolved, and the lovey dovey commences, about two weeks into the happy clappy and, ok, sometimes my attention wanders. In any story, I'm the sort of gal who digs the chase, the ongoing friction, the building tension and then the POWWIE explosion of the first fight, the first kiss, the first fuck, the first makeup sex, the first cuddle, the first...everything. I like conflict. It gives me something to hang onto--namely HOPE. Or possibly it's fear.

Either way, it's addictive.

So. DeRo. Lately, I'm ashamed to admit that I miss the old trials and tribulations, the anxiety, the anger, the heart ache, the middle finger in the air OH NO YOU DI'N'T YOU FUCKER--it was spell binding, wasn't it? Every time Deniz did something horrific we hated him, and every time he turned around and saved Roman "I'll watch out for you!", or allowed his true feelings for Roman to come to the fore, we forgave him as our hearts melted into a pool of slushy goo. It became a great waiting game. Will they or won't they? Will Deniz cheat? Is it physically possible for Deniz to stick his head any further up his own ass? Will Roman forgive him? Will they doooo eeeeet on the red couch, or in the shower, or in that manky swimming pool? Can we please see hot bunny cheeks in the shower?

And how 'bout those shiny gold hot pants that leave nothing to the imagination?

(episode 682--start at 2:53...ok this is just so wrong of me to exploit poor Roman Wild this way, because the story is fantastic and every bit of character development and careful constructing of intertwining plot lines that lead to this point is, naturally, worth watching but...er...we are on DIK and we're all perverted grown ups here... so, hey, check this shit out! Please note that the buttoned up and emotionally unavailable Dr. Axel Schwarz has recently been electrocuted in a harebrained plot by Nina (I MISS HER) to fix her oven (wink wink) ...uhm.... and our hero, Roman Wild with a weird combed back hairstyle, has performed life saving mouth to mouth on the evil accountant (Doctor). It tickled Axel's fancy. Apparently. Heh. BTW that swimming pool is filled with bodily fluids. FYI.)

What was I saying?

Anyway, while these days they're barely on screen and I'm just thrilled with any DeRo sighting at all (throw me a fricken' bone!)...I have a tiny problem.

They're supportive and wonderful.

They're in love now. We watch them make out at the dinner table, and we watch them smile and hug and smooch. Honestly? It's so great to see an established gay couple on tv with no drama. But this ain't no sit-com. This is a soap opera, a romance infused soap opera of heat index 5 level and...here's my secret shame... I'm eagerly anticipating the other shoe to drop. The next big fall. The fuck up du jour. The new must see reason to tune in and watch and worry and twist my hankie over.

Unless they kill one of the guys off, then I'll be pissed.

Catch Me If You Can

All this brings me to hawking my wares, because, hey, I have a book coming out next week, March 2nd, and you know you want it.

As I'm working on Book II in my Romano and Albright series, my mind keeps roaming toward my new favorite gay boy friend, Roman--and I'm actively dishing the drama into this new book of mine. Romance is all about the HEA. Yes it is. But most books generally stop right there at the end of the I LOVE YOU--and our hero and, uhm, hero? They lived happily ever after. Like Alles Was Zahlt, I'm continuing the saga of Dan and Caesar, and it takes a cold heart and a devious mind to bring turmoil into the lives of happy couples. It's worth it, though. It keeps us coming back for more--and I'm ready.

Time to work.

LB

And The Winner Is....

The winners of Josh Lanyon and Lisabea/LB Gregg's Thanksgiving Q & A are as follows... (contestants were randomized via random.org).

The winner of the Josh Lanyon book:
There were 26 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

1. Tracy
2. Cosmosnaut
3. whateverfor
4. Kimnik
5. Mei Leng
6. Winterbird
7. SiNn
8. Liz
9. Bev (QB)
10. Renee
11. Joder
12. jukebox
13. Siruislyserio
14. Sula
15. anonymous #1
16. nichem
17. Marcy
18. Kati
19. poximon
20. s7anna
21. Jenre
22. Sarah
23. Kris
24. anonymous #2
25. Tam
26. Janice

The winner of the LB Gregg book:
There were 26 items in your list. Here they are in random order:

1. Kris
2. Sarah
3. jukebox
4. Janice
5. Marcy
6. Jenre
7. anonymous #2
8. Tam
9. Joder
10. s7anna
11. Cosmonaut
12. Mei Leng
13. SiNn
14. Tracy
15. poximon
16. whateverfor
17. anonymous #1
18. Bev (QB)
19. Winterbird
20. Siruislyserio
21. Kati
22. Liz
23. Renee
24. Sula
25. nichem
26. kimnik

Congratulations to the winners! Please email Lisabea at noseinabook@live.com to collect your winnings. :)

Two Turkeys.

Happy Thanksgiving Q & A With

Josh and Lisabea

As usual, when I pop by the Island, I like to bring my pal Josh Lanyon for an alcoholic bev and some witty repartee. Today we're offering ten questions to each other and to readers, PLUS a prize or two.

So Josh asks five, and I, Lisabea/LBea/LB Gregg ask five, but we all have to answer ten. Here we go!

(I am in Blue; Josh Lanyon is in brown, because he's just STUNNING in brown).

JOSH LANYON WANTS TO KNOW--

Josh: Okay, here are my questions and answers:

1 - The last fluid to pass your lips.

Do we count the rinsing away of toothpaste? No! The SO just appeared with Irish Coffee. TGIF! Yum.

LBea: Coffee. It's always coffee! I need to add some new fluids to my life.

Josh: 2 - Who was the last person you had an argument with -- and why?

I'm in the middle of a huge argument with someone though I haven't told her yet. Believe it or not, I actually hate confrontation, so while I can fly off the handle when it's not that big a deal, when the hurt goes deep I've generally got nothing to say. It's lockdown time. She's dead to me.

As for why...? YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME, LISABEA.

Kiiiiiiiding.

LBea: I'm not speaking to you. I am your bf. You would never hold back.

::bites nails::

Josh's Daily Vitamin

Josh: 3 - Is Irish Coffee a vitamin? (LBea interrupts: YES) Seriously, I take a boring vitamin supplement because my diet is shit. Well, not literally. And I take vitamin B and Omega fish oil stuff.

LBea: I was taking vitamins, but I always forget. I'm more likely to take Motrin.

Josh: 4 - What holiday chore do you most dread?

I dread them ALL. Mostly because I haven't done any of them. I guess I dread starting the list of chores the most, because once I'm in that mode, it will be okay. It's like war. Thinking about battle is much worse than...hmmm. Maybe not such a good analogy. I do hope the turkey won't be shooting back this year.

LBea: My new holiday dread is wall papering the hallway ever again.

Josh: 5 - Name one book you read as a teenager that influenced you.

As a teenager...I read voraciously. And I tended to take everything very seriously. I think this is true of a of books we read when we're young. It seems like...this is gospel, this is how the world is, and these initial storytellers carry great weight. Which is why it really is a huge responsibility as to what we let children and teens read. I remember I read a great deal from the Scholastic bookclub. Anyone remember that? And one book was about this guy named David and his friend...and I can't remember the friend's name, but he's a conscientious objector and he dies in Viet Nam. There's something about David's father accusing the friend of being gay, but to be honest, a lot of that went right over my head at the time. I mean, I was still waiting for the Black Stallion to show up in my life.

LBea: Snort. I'll send you a My Little Pony.

I've said Dancer's of Arun before--but I'm going to go with Fern Michael's Captive Surrender (or was it Embrace?). I was in high school and it was my first lady pirate romance. I wrote an English paper about becoming a lady pirate and I received a glowing A from my teacher who thought I was 'so interesting'--but sekretly I was reading pron!

LBEA BOLDLY ASKS--

LBea: 6) What's your fav. real Christmas song and your favorite pretend Holiday song? I know this is precipitous. I don't care.

I'm such a WASP--Once in Royal David City is my fav real song. And I love Mariah singing O Holy Night in that video when she's in church with her bubbies hanging out and she's in a Jessica Rabbit Red Dress vamping it up for baby Jesus. Now that's what I call Christmas!

Josh - The Rebel Jesus. But here's where I confess that I love Christmas music. It is SO uncool. But I do. Pretend fave? Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I love all those jazzy, vintage-y Chestnuts Saved From the Fire faves. Ideally sung by Ella or Frankie or Der Bingle or Satchmo.

LBea: 7) What's the last thing your love said to you this morning?

You're so hot I can't keep my hands off you. I want you all the time.

What? I am not making that up!

Josh: "How's your head?"

He was talking about my headache of the night before, I hasten to add. Serious here!

LBea: 8) Thanksgiving Question: Dressing in the bird, or on the side in some pansy little dish?

Stuff that mother! In the bird! Also stuffing should have lots of sausage. Mmmmm...sausage.

Josh - You don't know where that bird has been! Side dish. It's an ongoing bone of contention in this household, by the way. I am all about the side dishes.

LBea: 9) What movies can you watch again and again, you know the lines, can jump in at any time, and will stop everything to watch it on TV even though you have it on DVD (and VHS)?

Monty Python's Holy Grail--and School of Rock, Moonstruck, The Bird Cage, and (Colin Firth) Pride and Prejudice. I like to laugh and I love love.

Josh - And we love to laugh at you. WITH YOU. Seriously, though...Gunga Din, Young Frankenstein, The Big Sleep...any episode of The Professionals.

Adrien English

LBea: 10) What's your newest addition to your Desert Island Keeper list?

Mine is The Dark Tide. BOOYAH!!!!

Josh- What?! You can't pick a book that isn't published yet. Pick something else. (LBea: No. Make me.) Meanwhile...what am I supposed to pick when I haven't read anything in months??? Books I am taking with me to DIY island...Dash and Dingo by Sean Kennedy, Three Wrong Turns in the Desert by Neil Plakcy...okay, I will take recommends on this. OH, I know. Ginn Hale's sequel to Wicked Gentlemen. When's that coming out? ( I am NOT making fun of you, Sweetbea).

So. Answer the Ten Questions by Monday Morning 7 am (I can't do midnight Sunday, sorry. Am too tired) and you may be selected to win a copy of Dangerous Grounds II: Old Poison! And an LB Gregg your choice Smithfield novella.

The Questions Again:

1 - The last fluid to pass your lips.

2 - Who was the last person you had an argument with -- and why?

3 - Is Irish Coffee a vitamin?

4 - What holiday chore do you most dread?

5 - Name one book you read as a teenager that influenced you.

6) What's your fav. real Christmas song and your favorite pretend Holiday song?

7) What's the last thing your love said to you this morning?

8) Thanksgiving Question: Dressing in the bird, or on the side in some pansy little dish?

9) What movies can you watch again and again, you know the lines, can jump in at any time, and will stop everything to watch it on TV even though you have it on DVD (and VHS)?

10) What's your newest addition to your Desert Island Keeper list?

YAY.