Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Exclusive! The Eric Northman - Miss Doreen interview!

Another DIK island exclusive! Eric Northman, of Southern Vampire Mysteries and True Blood fame, interviews Miss Doreen to learn about author Carolyn Crane, and her soon-to-be-released novel, MIND GAMES!

Eric: Welcome Miss Doreen. I understand you are a reviewer over at author Carolyn Crane's book blog, The Thrillionth Page. That must be such an honor.

Miss Doreen: Thanks, Mr. Northman. And I must say, it is an honor. As you may or may not know, I feel very passionately about cowboy menages! I think they're outrageous! It's been my self-appointed duty to read any book where I suspect there might be a cowboy menage and then tell the world about it. Carolyn Crane supports me in this important mission

Eric: So, Carolyn Crane isn't into cowboy menages?

Miss Doreen: Heavens no! She's happily married, and you know, it's not an MMF type of marriage, and her husband doesn't even wear a cowboy hat in bed. I have quizzed her on all this repeatedly.

Eric: What is she into? Does she like vampires? And has she ever spoken to you about the sorts of hairstyles she likes to see on men? Also, does she prefer shaved chests? And, what if the man has blond hair? Is a bit of pubic hair alright then?

Miss Doreen: Eric, what does this have to do with Carolyn's Urban Fantasy trilogy?

Eric: So sorry. Miss Doreen, please tell me about Mind Games, the first book in Carolyn's trilogy, aka: The Justine Jones: disillusionist trilogy. I understand it's a really great read!

Miss Doreen: I have scoured Mind Games, and I can definitely report that there are no cowboy menages in it at all. Completely cowboy menage-free.

Eric: Is that all you have to say?

Miss Doreen: Kind of. Because I have news! It's huge news. The cover art for the second Justine Jones: disillusionist book, DOUBLE CROSS has just come out, and it's fantastic.

Eric: I know. I saw the cover yesterday.

Miss Doreen: That wasn't the cover! Come on, Mr. Northman, even you were suspicious of that cover. It was ridiculous. Here is the true cover:

Miss Doreen: What do you think?

Eric: * utter silence *

Miss Doreen: Double Cross is an erotic cowboy menage dystopian. You see, instead of avoiding the issue of cowboy menages (because, let's face it Mr. Northman, everybody knows that they're the 900 pound gorilla that everybody is thinking about, but will not talk about!) Crane fully imagines a world where cowboy menages are the norm.

But then, a lone crusader, Justine Jones' aunt, known only as "D" submits herself to a torrid cowboy menage--she journeys straight into the heart of evil in order to fully emerge on the other side of it. She describes the long, lusty sessions of MMF cowboy lovemaking in exact detail - every permutation - as a way of reflecting the dystopian cowboy menage society back to itself.

Eric: That doesn't sound like a very good book.

Miss Doreen: The cover blurb will be: a embedded reporter in a depraved and torrid world of cowboy menages! Get it? Embedded reporter.

Eric: I'd rather read about Justine Jones and her gang of neurotic vigilantes battling paranormal crime. That what entices me about Mind Games. I think cowboy menages would ruin that type of plot.

Miss Doreen: Well, you're in the minority, Mr. Northman! Cowboy menage dystopians are the next steampunk. You need to get with it. This is the book Carolyn Crane has to write if she wants to save her career. Deep down, I think she knows it. Don't encourage her by fawning over Mind Games.

Eric: I think you're making it up. I think you want Double Cross to have cowboy menages in it, but I bet if Carolyn Crane were here, she would say otherwise. Where is Carolyn Crane? I think we should call her!

Miss Doreen: What does the title Double Cross say to you exactly, if not a cowboy menage dystopian?

Eric: It says to me, Book #2 of a cool Urban Fantasy read.

Miss Doreen: Well you would be wrong. *Miss Doreen stands* Good Day Sir! *Miss Doreen storms out*

More about Mind Games here. Carolyn's blog, The Thrillionth Page here. Please report any Carolyn Crane sightings to Eric@truebloodTV2000.com
Part ONE of this interview series here: Eric interviews Little CJ!


Chris said...

Hmm. I've always suspected that Miss Doreen's fascination with cowboy menage was because she secretly (or, after today, not so secretly) wanted to be part of such a configuration.

Kris said...

"Cowboy menage dystopians are the next steampunk."

Thank God for Miss Doreen otherwise none of us would have had a clue!

Renee said...

Thank you, Miss Doreen, for saving us from the cowboy menage dystopian fiction.

Carolyn Crane said...

Chris! LOL. How could you say such a ridiculous thing?

Kris: You heard it here first!! LOL

Renee: LOL. Miss Doreen is proud to help.

Katie Reus said...

That cover is pure awesome. And I gotta say, I KNEW cowboy menage dystopians are the new steampunk. LMAO! Too funny ;)

Congrats on your release, Carolyn!

KT Grant said...

I would so read a erotic cowboy menage dystopian. Lots of butt butt fun on a horse!

Jill Sorenson said...

Miss Doreen!! The new cover is AWESOME. I admire your commitment to the cowboy menage cause. Thanks for taking another one (or two!) for the team. :)

Carolyn Crane said...

Thanks, Katie! You never know what you'll learn on DIK.

KB: Miss Doreen is outraged!

Jill: LOL. Make it two!

Tracy said...

D. Just a perfect name for Miss Doreen's character. I love how the cowboy menage is the new steampunk. Brilliant!

Joanna Chambers said...

I love Miss Doreen. I just.... love her.


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