Ana's Final Day: Special Announcement

This is my last day and I have an announcement to make. It all happened because one of my heroes, Sebastian St Vincent, gave me an ultimatum. He came to me last Saturday and he said he couldn’t take it any longer. Now that he found me, now that he found the true meaning of love, he just couldn’t bear the thought of sharing me. He then said that I had a choice to make. I could have him and him alone or I could have the other heroes and he would leave – he would pack his things and move to the other side of the island never to return. I was completely surprised by this. Sebastian IS more special to me than the others and Saturday is my favorite day of the week but I adore my other heroes, don’t I? How could I give up on Bowen and his wolfish cuteness (not to mention his * censored * unmentionables?) or Leonidas and our games of 300 * censored * ??? I couldn’t do it, could I? My first reaction was to make fun of him, not believing he was begin serious but then he ….wait. There is a better way to tell you this. With images, after all images are worth more than a 1,000 words right?

Let's pretend, just for the sake of this announcement, that this is me *snorts* :

And this is, the cheeky, witty, depraved, Sebastian, Lord St Vincent:


*side note * all caps used here are courtesy of Lost Media. For those who do not know, these are pictures from episodes of Lost that depict the relationship between Kate and Sawyer. In my mind , Sebastian St Vincent and Sawyer are very much alike – physically and emotionally * end side note *

So here is how it all went – and it’s all true, I swear.

"Sebastian, there is nothing you can say that will convince me to give up my other heroes. "

ok, how about this?

"You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you. You'd be like Heaven to touch.I wanna hold you so much."

"At long last love has arrived. And I thank God I'm alive. You're just too good to be true. Can't take my eyes off you."

*me thinking* "OMG he is SINGING. Awww what a voice..... *melts* "No, I need to keep my cool. I shall not surrender!" *manup*

"Pardon the way that I stare. There's nothing else to compare."

"The sight of you leaves me weak. There are no words left to speak,"

"But if you feel like I feel, Please let me know that it's real."




*Me thinking* OMG look at the cheeky bastard. He is sooo pretty. awww *melts*



"You're just too good to be true."


"Can't take my eyes off you."



"I love you, baaaaaaby, And if it's quite alright,"



"I need you, baaaaaby, To warm a lonely night. I love you, baaaaby.Trust in me when I say:"


And then, quite suddenly, things became VERY serious. And there is a desperation there was not there before and the song became very heartfelt:

"Oh, pretty baby, Don't bring me down, I pray."

"Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay"

"And let me love you, baby."

"Let me love yooooou."

"I love you, Ana. Please be mine"

"I love you too, Sebastian. Yes. YES. "

And then he kissed me.

and we proceeded to ravish each other:



"in the hut"



"On the floor"

"on the falls "

"up against the cage door "

And this how it has come to pass that henceforth, I only have Sebastian in my hut. I have relocated my other heroes to another hut in the outskirts of our plot. They are devastated the poor things, so I hope you girls can find it in your hearts the will to help them get through this time of need. Before you get too excited though, this is a provisional experience – because let’s face it once you go 7 guys it will probably be really hard going monogamous again. But I will try – I do love Sebastian, after all.

In any case, this is what I wanted to announce. Now leave me. I have some * censored * business to tend to.

* Final note * You do realise we would not be having this conversation if I had Judd Lauren, Sully, Roarke, Dorian, Colin Ames-Beaumont or Eric Northman in my hut right?

It has been a pleasure ladies!

Ana's day #2 : A week in my island life!

As soon as I moved to the Island with my heroes I started having problems – there are 7 of them ,only one of me and they were fighting and arguing for a chance to spend the day or the night with me and soon things started getting out of the control and because I am a control freak I could not stand it anymore and decided to organise things. This is how I ended up allocating one day a week for each hero and it’s working really well. Each one gets a 24 hour period starting at 7am each day. While I am spending time with the hero of the jour , the others get to do whatever they want - they have mock-up fights so that they can stay in shape, they go camping, they go swimming but mostly they just rest for their next round with moi- I can be very very demanding ; )

Anyways this is how the week goes at Casa de Ana:

Sundays

I start off the week with Bowen MacRieve the hero from my favorite Kresley Cole’s novel Wicked Deeds on a Winter's Night. He shows up in the morning with a complete breakfast, which he has gathered or hunted just for me – being a Lykae (a werewolf of sorts) is quite handy when you are stranded on an island. He then takes me to the cave he has found where I bathe and he helps me and we proceed to *CENSORED* I just love spending time with Bowen, he is very alpha but also so sweet – I love when he whispers sweet nothings in my ears in his Scottish accent - “you are a verra beautiful lass” he says all the time. There was this one day we were walking around the jungle (he is very outdoorsy) and I asked what were his favorite things and he just said: Your smell, your smile, your company. To which I replied, your favorite things cannot be all about me, and he just said “why not” and I melted and then we proceeded to *CENSORED* Actually I have a lot of *censored * moments on Sundays since out of all my heroes he is the one with most stamina. Specially when he is in his Lykae form – did I say he is like, HUGE? Yabadabadu!

Mondays

Mondays have been allocated to King Leonidas from The 300 Graphic Novel. My favorite thing about King Leonidas? That he looks like this:



He is very belligerent and tends to think a lot about war so our favorite “thing” is when I dress up like a Persian and I yell at him “I want YOOUUUUR ‘weapon’ ” and he replies “you want my weapon? COME AND GET IT” and ….. *CENSORED* aaaaaawww, role playing with King Leonidas in the jungle – can life be better than that?

Tuesdays

Tuesday is Royce Westmoreland’s day - he is the hero from A Kingdom of Dreams by Judith McNaught . He is not the usual JM which means he is Alpha without being an Alpha Jerk. Quite the contrary , he can be really emotional too. And he is prepared to die for me – before we decided on this schedule, the heroes were fighting and things were getting pretty ugly and Royce just came to his knees and didn’t fight back because he knew I wouldn’t have wanted him hurting my other heroes. There was this one day, our pet sea turtle (which he named Thor) died, and he cried in my arms like a baby. But he is also so fierce and such a strong warrior – he has been teaching me how to fight with a sword although every time we try sparring we end up *CENSORED*

Wednesdays

My Wednesdays belong to Logan a.k.a. Wolverine (X-Men). I have loved Logan for so many years now ever since I was a teenager and read the X-Men comics. When I chose him I was prepared to spend quite a lot of time fighting and having arguments because Wolvie (how I like to call him) can be a pig-head. Plus he really hates to talk about his past. Which makes me furious and then I throw things at him like I am a telekinetic and he catches them in air and slice through them with his retractable adamantium claws and then the whole thing gets him really horny and then *CENSORED* Sometimes I swear It’s like living in the War Room of professor Xavier’s mansion.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Thursdays

This is a day with another Kresley Cole’s hero: Conrad Wroth from Dark Needs at Night's Edge. Conrad is a vampire, which means we only get to play at night and that works really well for me because at this point of the week I am so tired I need to rest. This is also when I get to talk with my girlfriends and perhaps re-read one of my books. I love visiting KatieBabs’s hut so that I can get an eye full of Sully. Or try to take a peek at Judd Lauren, or Roarke - you know, JUST to say hello OK? I am no hero-thief! (I wish though) But when night falls, whoa mama. Can the vamp deliver! He traces us all around the island to the most romantic locations and
*CENSORED*

Fridays

Friday is another day off, sort of. Because this day belongs to Fox Mulder from the X-Files - the least sexual of my heroes. The reason I chose Mulder is not because he is hot (although he is) but mainly because I love his brain and his sense of humour. There is nothing sexier than that (well, ok, I am lying now) and I love that we spend the whole day just …talking. I love to hear his weird ideas and I love to hear his stories about Aliens and Monsters. I particularly love how excited he gets about all the paranormal creatures in the island – and I have the sneaky suspicion he is creating the Island-Files. He is so cute and honestly, sometimes I get so turned on by all his brainy talk and I just jump him and *CENSORED*

Saturdays

Ah. I saved the best for last. And if you notice, I organised the days so that I have practically two days off before I get my day with the one and only Sebastian St. Vincent, the hero from Lisa Kleypas’s Devil in Winter. He is my all-time favorite hero and I adore my other men but I LOVE Sebastian. I feel we have this connection and honestly, Saturday is the day I most look forward to. I love his brain and how he is smart and witty. He is teaching me card tricks and how to play snooker (we found a snooker table buried in the sand. What? Yes, we did). He is so depraved and so crude - it sounds awful but it isn’t – he whispers in my ears what he intends to do with me and boy can I feel my toes curling. *CENSORED* He is prepared to do anything for me. Like this one day, a boar attacked me and he threw himself between us and almost died. Thank God we have Sully around with his ability to cure people. I was so scared I was going to loose Sebastian I nearly chocked. And the thing is, whilst he was there thinking he was going to die, all he could think off was what would happen to me.

There was also that one time, when he spent the six days we were apart going around the island looking for flowers and diving after pearls. When that Saturday came he presented me with the most luscious orchids and surrounded me with pearls and proceeded to ravish me. He may not have the same stamina as Bowen but it’s close enough. Sebastian loves sex but most of all he loves to kiss. And boy can the man kiss, sometimes it’s hours and hours of kissing – and it’s just amazing. When he leaves on Sunday morning, I cry. Every single time. Then it’s time to start all over again.

He carries around his neck a ring I gave him as soon as we moved here as sign of my devotion but I know it kills him that now that he found someone he truly loves, he has to share me. And this is what prompted a “talk” which led to the announcement I will make tomorrow!

Ana is in the house! Ola Amigas!!!!

Ok, so I completely forgot I was supposed to be doing this today so I am having a mild panic attack. *breath in, breath out* It’s alright though - I had sort of planned what I wanted to do so I will just follow the original plan! For my first two days I will be boring as hell- I will talk today about the books I picked and why I picked them. Tomorrow, it will be my heroes. But on Wednesday, oh on Wednesday, I will have a MAJOR Announcement to make that will rock this island and quite possibly stun everybody out of their bikinis. Whatever that means. Muwahahahahahaha.

OK, so books. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOKS. I looooooove books. Every since I was little, I was always the dork with the books. I was called once by the school psychologist into her office because she was worried I was reading too much. Seriously. I just looked at the woman like she was crazy whilst she looked at me like I was crazy because I was 15 and I was reading a book about Egyptian archeology. Pfffft Whatever.

Ok so the books I chose to take with me to a desert island are (please note, I was under pressure when I chose these – if I were to pick again, I would probably change a couple. Maybe 3. or not. )

1 - The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

This book is so hilarious and so quintessentially English I had to take it with me. I figure if I am to be stuck on an island , even if I have my men with me, I will need to have a reason to laugh. Plus, the books has some seriously good advice on survival. First there is the essential DON’T PANIC. Then there are the towels. This is really really good advice people. Believe me, I KNOW.

A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a brush, but very very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear,
space suit etc, etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

2 - Lord of Scoundrels by Loretta Chase

I know, I know, someone else is already taking this. But this is one of the best romance novels out there so I figure one copy only will not do. Actually this is my top 1 romance novel – it has everything , fantastic dialogues, an amazing, strong, quick-ass heroine and a hero that melts my heart every single time. I love this book, mostly because of Loretta Chase’s writing. How can one not love a hero that shakes every time he suspects the heroine is actually interested in him? One that is scared of having sex with her because she is so small he thinks he will hurt her? And this is the greatest whoremonger of Europe! I love this bit here:

With the world securely in order, Dain was able to devote the leisurely bath time to editing his mental dictionary. He removed his wife from the general category labeled "Females" and gave her a section of her own. He made a note that she didn't find him revolting, and proposed several explanations: (a) bad eyesight and faulty hearing, (b)a defect in a portion of her otherwise sound intellect, (c) an inherited Trent eccentricity, or (d) an act of God. Since the Almighty had not done him a single act of kindness in at least twenty-five years, Dain thought it was about bloody time, but he thanked his Heavenly Father all the same, and promised to be as good as he was capable of being.

3 - The Lost Duke of Wyndham by Julia Quinn

This spot belonged originally to the Dalai Lama with his Art of Happiness because the book is amazing and it really helped me when I need most. Then I read The Lost Duke of Wyndham a couple of months ago and fell in love with it. Julia Quinn is awesome and this book made me laugh, made me cry and every time I think about it , I get a huge smile on my face. So yeah, the Happiness is sometimes in a piece of art of that makes you smile. And go awwwwww like in here:

He was always hoping for a glimpse of Grace, no matter where he was. Just the sight of her made something tickle and fizz within his chest. Half the time she did not even see him, which he did not mind. He rather enjoyed watching her go about her duties. But if he stared long enough and he always did; there was never any good reason to place his eyes anywhere else – she always sensed him.
Eventually, even if he was at an odd angle, or obscured in shadows, she felt his presence, and she’d turn. He always tried to play the seducer then, to gaze at her with smoldering intensity, to see if she’d melt in a pool of whimpering desire.
But he never did. Because all he could do, whenever she looked back at him, was smile like a lovesick fool. He would have been disgusted with himself, expect that she always smiled in return, which never failed to turn the tickle and fizz into something even more bubbly and carefree.

4 - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K Rowling

Do you want to know how much of a dork I am? Here it goes: on the morning of July 21st 2007, release date of the final book of the Harry Potter saga, The Deathly Hallows, I woke up at 6am to wait for the postman. I sat by the window. I was anxious. I had pre-ordered the book from Amazon ages before that. I had coffee made and Dear Partner out of the house. The book arrived at exactly 8:43. I Know that because I kept a log book in the forum I used to frequent. LOL. I started crying on page 16 (also recorded in the log). At 3:30 I made a pit stop to get some Chinese food. I cried a lot more until I was done with the book at 11:07 pm having read the entire book in one day non –spot. My first post was: “It is quite possibly, one of the best books ever.” Oh the Harry Potter madness. How I miss thee. And do you want to know which character's death made me cry the most? IN ALL of the series? CRAP, I SPOILED THE FREAKING BOOK. I AM SUCH AN IDIOT! SO BEWARE SPOILERS - MOVE THE MOUSE OVER THE NEXT LINE TO READ. Not Sirius, or Dumbledore. It was Dobby's. The House Elf.

5 - Lady of Light and Shadows by C.L. Wilson

I discovered the Tairen Soul books earlier this year. And I love them to bits. These books have the best combination of Romance and Fantasy and Lady is my favorite so far. I think. It is just heartwarming – all characters are fantastic and the world building is incredible. In Lady, Rain the hero, finally realizes he is in love with Ellie :

(…)’I only just realised something I should have known all along.’ He carried her hands to his chest, then cupped her face with one hand while wrapping the other around her waist. He held her close, skin to skin, so that with her shei’dalin senses she would feel for herself the wonder that bloomed within him.
“From this day forward, no matter what happens between us – even if we never complete our bond, even if we cannot save the tairen or the Fey – I want you to know this one thing, Ellysetta Baristini” He smiled into her eyes and gave her the words.
“My heart has followed where my soul has led. Ke vo san, Ellysetta. I love you”.

6 - The Sandman, Volume 9 The Kindly Ones by Neil Gaiman

I saved the best for last. If the Hitchhiker’s Guide and The Lost Duke of Wyndham are here because they are light and funny, the Kindly Ones are here because they are not. Quite the opposite.

The Sandman graphic novels are very possibly my favorite books. They are veritable works of art. Pure and simply. The Kindly Ones marks the end of the series which lasted 10 years. It is drastic, dramatic, dark with the culmination of a decade of writing all leading to only one possible outcome and yet I did not see it coming. I did not see it coming. And I nearly had a heart attack. Perfection. I could not be stranded in a desert island without taking my Dream with me.

This will be felt across worlds and days as a reality storm; and, as it plays its course, conflicting realities will fall and spin and shatter across time and existence.

And so chicas, these are my booksies! And before I leave you until tomorrow, I will just present you with some pictures of the most handsome man in the world: the actor and model Reynaldo Gianecchini – he is Brazilian, just like me!

Guest: J.L. Langley

Island Entertainment At It’s Finest


Since I did DIK a few weeks ago. I wanted to come up with something different. So I decided to share my trip to San Francisco with you.


In SF I developed a new skill, I thought might keep all you islanders entertained. Condom Animal Art.

It’s amazing the things a person can come up with to entertain themselves when bored. According to my esteemed colleagues and friends I’ve quite a talent. And I must admit, they are right. I do! Bragging? No not really. It took a lot of skill to blow the darn things up. The lube was industrial strength. I lost count of how many times the little buggers flew out of my hands. Perhaps I should try Condom Juggling next time? *ponders* Anyway, let me put it in to perspective. People always ask if certain sex acts are possible without lube? Well they are if you use one of the FWF condoms. I was covered in lube from head to toe. Not pretty. And sadly not kinky either, Andre (aka Mr. Langley) was at home in Texas. He did get pics of my art work via Tobias, aka my iphone, though.



I mastered the condom Armadillo aka Arnie. A tribute to my home state. The condom Bunny aka Theodore, and the ever famous tribute to erotic romance writers the condom purple penis with blue testicles. Attaching the testicles is easier said than done! My balls flew into the aisle too many times to count.





The only downer on the trip? I missed the Cowboy game. I was walking down Folsom trying to get Tobias to work so I could check the score. He never would work, but I found out later that we lost. Judging by the close score it was probably a good game. Oh well, I didn't stay down for long...how could I? We went to the Folsom Street Fair. There was eye candy galore. We definitely need some of the hotties we saw there on the island. There was naked eye candy, eye candy in leather harnesses, eye candy in chaps, etc. It was a veritable feast for the senses. I learned that I much prefer the crowd at Folsom to the crowd at Yaoi-con. Yaoi-con? It was fun getting to meet readers. In fact, the best part of the con for me was meeting readers, that alone was worth going, but for me there wasn’t any eye candy there. My eye candy was on Folsom Street and most of said eye candy was nekkid. We (Ally Blue, Kimberly Gardner, Jade Buchanan and James Buchanan) are trying to talk Laura (Baumbach) into doing an MLR booth at Folsom next year...wish us luck.

Author: James Buchanan

Day 4!
Desert Island Keeper
M/M Romance Author
Festivus Extravagandus!

*Pumps fist in air* WOOT!

Our guest today is the bold, clever, wonderfully perverted filthy sexualized intelligent James Buchanan. Phewie! Is it getting hot in here? Anyway, JB is a friend of the blog over in my neck of the woods, and I'm thrilled to titillate y'all with this moist and meaty Q&A. Bring it on, James!

Hola, okay, I'm James Buchanan and they've turned the insanity over to me today...bwhahahhahaha. I write homoerotic romances for MLR Press, Torquere Press and Phaze. I'll have a book coming out with Lethe Press as well. I’m deep in writing book 2 for The Good Thief and book 3 for Cheating Chance (Inland Empire- book 2 of the Taking the Odds books comes out summer 2009) and a bunch of other stuff.

Interesting stuff? I'm a sleezy bastard – lawyer by day. My life partner being my law partner as well…wanna talk 24/7 relationships. We have two spawn, two dogs, we're down to one cat and up to two fish. We both ride Harleys and try and keep our 100 year old Craftsman house from falling down around our ears. I'm one of those people that jumps around careers. I've been a detail sewer in a sweat shop, a factory worker, worked in County Mental Health, graduated law school when I was 29, did a stint in the City Prosecutor's Office, was a civil trial attorney for 8 years and now do administrative law.

I have a thing for Japanese Rope Bondage (luckily SG does as well) and there is a bolt in our bedroom ceiling. The leather chaps came long before the bike. Since High School, I've been a Goth. Although, back then, in Nowhere's-fucking-ville Texas, I was just the "freak" who listened to punk and wore lots of black. It's Halloween everyday at my house.

Mostly, I love to write books.

I've been bad and only answered the questions I wanted to...

Five favorite books?

The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury

The Man who Fell in Love With the Moon by Tom Spanbauer . And I wish I could write reviews worth shit, because I love this book.

Pretty much anything by the Kellermans or Tony Hillerman, in the Joe Leaphorn/Jim Chee series…I’m a big mystery buff.

The Alienist by Caleb Carr but not so much the sequels

Beyond that I read books like some people eat chocolate. I can devour a novel in an afternoon.

Best love song

Oh, God…ask a Goth about music, we just need some Absinth and a discussion of Kafka and we could be here all night….Depending on my mood:

Sweet and sensual (yes I have a very strange definition of sweet):

You and Me by Lifehouse (okay…not Goth, but I have a thing for the song reminds me of Brokeback Mountain)
Teach Me How to Drown by Unto Ashes (It’s Brandon’s theme during Cheating Chance)
Beloved by VNV Nation
Further by VNV Nation

Obsessive:

#1 Crush by Garbage
or
Look Away My Love by Advent Sleep: BEST LINE EVER --- “Shall I kiss you or just fist you?”(LOL. sorry. LB continues to make links and hook up photos grinning cuz she likes that James Buchanan)

Dark and Angsty (yeah, I know, some of the others above come off dark and angsty…but, hey, my list):

Love You to Death by Type O Negative


Author everyone loves but you don’t

Nora Roberts/JD Robb. I so don’t get it. And I love mysteries/police procedurals. I read the Robb stuff (usually when I used to travel for business and I’d be looking for books in the airport giftshop) and it’s a total WTF?

If you could be in one book/series/world which would you pick

Probably the Tony Hillerman books. Of course that could just be because I have a thing for the guy who plays Jim Chee (Adam Beach) in the PBS series. He’s kinda my inspiration for True from the story My Brother, Coyote (it’ll be coming out in the Shadow Harvest single author anthology from MLR at the end of September 2008). The picture is of him from Windtalkers. Rowr. Either that or The Lair. ‘Cause then I’d get to see Colton Ford…a lot. (omg James...heh.)
Adam Beach Colton Ford


Favorite sex song

More music huh? You so don’t want to know those…just look above…

When I’m feeling in a DOM mode, Rammstein, Keine Lust:
or Ich Will

Living Dead Girl by Rob Zombie
Maybe anything off the Fashionistas Soundtrack.

(Not WS --- actually none of the following links are)

Enigma works well too. Mea Culpa is good:

Course most of the time is what ever porn track happens to be running. Sex Among Friends with the double penetration scene, and Pool Boy Orgy when I’m in kinda a Twinky mood (it’s the gooy cream filling…bwahahhahah), sometimes more hard core leather vids, like Bad as We Ought to Be

If you could be a hero who would you be

Can I just be Harrison Ford? He makes any hero sexy. Come on Indian Jones, Han Solo…the freaking president…




Boxers, Briefs, boxer briefs, kilt (I say we add commando)

Commando…boxer briefs come in a close second.

What hero is most like your significant other

Well, I wrote Brandon (Cheating Chance & Inland Empire) based a lot on my Sexy Guy (for all those who wonder who SG is).

What hero would you like to be your significant other

I think someone will have probably said this…by my guy is my hero. He puts up with all my shit, including the fact that I wouldn’t know what a vacuum cleaner looked like if it bit me on the ass. Cleans the house, does the dishes, and cooks dinner most of the time. And still tells me he loves me.

If you were stuck on a desert island what 3 things would you bring

Credit card, sunscreen and swim trunks… you didn’t say it was a deserted desert island.

And as far as the five guys to have on there with me.

Well there's two up there.
Peter Steele from Type O Negative.
Edward from the Anita Blake books.
And Behind-the-Shed (yes that's the character's name) from The Man Who Fell in Love With the Moon.

Favorite drink to bring to the DIK party

Whatever…just hook it up intravenously.



How 'bout an (unedited) excerpt from my upcoming novel Hard Fall, due out January from MLR Press.

Blurb: Deputy Joe Peterson is Mormon and in the closet. Then ex-con Kabe Varghese lands in town on parole. When a tourist falls off the mountain, Joe finds he needs the help of this cliff-climbing, adrenaline junky to solve the case. Will Kabe tear him apart or does Joe need to fall hard before he can start living?

Excerpt:

Why was I here, sweating through my shorts and staring down that wiry piece of muscle and lean rear end? I don't know, 'cause maybe he's more trouble than he's worth. Pretty boys, city boys, they don't do too well out here. The way he's tossing gear about, well that's long work on a short task. Got more stumble than sense. Sometimes I wonder if he thinks he’s fitting in. Expensive shades, cowboy hat and jeans that had to have cost least a hundred bucks riding low on a set a hips just a hair on the wrong side of thin. His skin holds a warm shade of brown down deep. It ain’t the kind you get from too much sun.

Everything I like all in one spit-start package. Not that I can afford to be all that picky…this is the high country after all.

My beat covers more territory than some states are wide. All we got up here is cowboys and Mormons. If your family ain't been around for at least three generations you're new to the area. Don't even get me started on the tourists.

My family, they walked outa Nauvoo, Illinois just ahead of the lynching parties and fled into Utah pushing handcarts. I'm born and bred local. And since I ain't a cowboy that would mean I'm one of the Latter Day Saints…at least in my heart I am. Some members of the Church, they might not see me so eye to eye on that if they knew.

While I don't drink, don't smoke, and don't cuss, the first guy to mistake me for a pacifist got himself into a world of hurt. My badge, this star…Garfield County Sheriff, one of the “Magnificent Seven;” there’s only seven deputies for this whole county. Been here since I left the corrections department where I worked the state pen in Cedar City. Got my first .22 when I was eight. Shot my first buck when I was twelve. I can handle myself along with the best.

Except, maybe, doing what I was doing here now. Just watching.

Heck, the first time I saw him. It's like right on the top of my mind. I'd stopped by Ruby's Inn to get a pop, standing along the porch, watching who’s coming in and who’s going out. Outa old man Harding’s truck swings this kid. Anybody who’s got to ask how I knew it was old man Harding’s truck…they ain’t never lived in a small town. Ruby’s is officially a township, population 182 or there abouts. Panguich, where the station is, hits around 1,600 with Tropic not quite a quarter of that. Both are on my beat. The biggest city round here, two hours and one county away, Cedar City, that’s big enough for two high schools, a college campus and the state prison. Not hardly big enough to get lost in even if, like me, you sometimes wanted to.

Why did he catch my eye? First off, he screamed city, but not in that overfed, treadmill kinda manner. Naw, punk, in a way that sent all my cop senses running for the shotgun. Then one of those weekend biker guys – all play bad ass, with a twenty thousand dollar custom rod, who would dirty his drawers if the wrong guy said boo – drifted by. The punk’s eyes focused in on that leather clad butt, he watched the guy walk by, and then he licked his lips in that slow I wanna be tasting a bit of that way.

Standing there swigging a root beer and I damn near spit it out. Man, oh man, I’ve got my sites on a prime slab of twenty-something pretty-boy in tight jeans. Since it’d been nearly six months since I’d even managed to score a hand job in Vegas, everything went south real fast. I could have passed out from rapid blood loss then and there.

I know. I know. Gay and Mormon don’t cohabit very well. The Church has been wrong on other stuff, seen the light and changed their ways…I’m hoping someday they’ll see the light on this issue. Can’t say I’m holding my breath though.

Let’s face it…God made me this way. The same way he made me a blue eyed blond with a receding hairline at twenty. Vanity…that convinced me to shave my head and beat my body into submission in the gym. I don’t have any choice in wanting another guy’s meat.

If I coulda chose different, dear God I would have. I don’t need the load of baggage trying to justify my faith with my body. A simple life with Molly-Mormon and a passel of kids would have been so much easier. At least I had the stones to suck it up and not take someone else down into miserable with me. I’ve kissed a few gals, never even got my pulse above a resting beat. The first guy who stuck his tongue down my throat, I blew in my shorts.

So I saw him and I wanted him. I don’t think anyone can imagine how bad. And I stuck it in my pocket. No sense messing with something like that, and likely he was just passing through anyhow. Then Jessie, she works Ruby’s year-round, walks by and sees him.

Jessie smiled at me…she always does, ‘cause she’s got a kid out of wedlock and I’m past thirty and ain’t never married so there’s potential there, she thinks. “Hey, Joe.” That big smile held a ton of hope that made me cringe inside. “So, you keeping an eye on him?”

“What,” I managed to choke out, sneezing the foam back outa my nose, “city boy?” Of course, we both knew we were talking about the new guy…what else is there to talk about in a small town.

Grabbing a spot of wall right next to me, she starts in with the gossip. “Yeah, I was talking to Page and her momma, she says, that Lena says, he’s done time.” Then Jessie leaned real close and whispered, “Federal time. You know, hard,” she winked, drawing out the word hard like she was anywhere near sophisticated, “time.” I didn’t rise to the bait, but then I ain’t known around here for my sense of humor. Apparently the story was too good to let it go. She kept yakking in that same somebody’s died tone, “He’s Sandy Harding’s family, from the Stewart part. You know her sister just went off loopy in the sixties, off in California. Shacked up with this Indian guy…like from India,” all three syllables got emphasis, guess so I’d know she didn’t mean one of the local tribes…all them are cowboys too. “Well, he’s the grandson of that part of Sandy’s tree. They say he don’t got much family now, so they’re doing God’s work and took him in when he got out. Goes down to Cedar City once a month to check in with the Parole Board.”

Okay, I’m looking at the hottest thing outside of a GQ model shoot. Everything I know says if he did hard time, it was on his back, as the girl for some dude with a nick-name like Killer and prison tats on every inch of skin. But honestly, I’m not getting that vibe. There is a coiled restlessness lurking in that body. He’s a rattlesnake. All so pretty and calm. But he won’t but give you two second’s warning before he buries his fangs in your thigh.

I did not need that level of problem. Kept telling myself that, hoping I’d believe it through sheer repetition.