But I realized it sucked and I'm bummed. I just had something happen that has kind of smacked me sideways. I really like someone, but I just found out they like someone else. It's moments like this where I wish I could just hide in a hole somewhere & disappear. I'm glad I didn't tell him I like him because I'm 99% sure of how it would've ended and I would've just ended up horribly humiliated.
I don't know, sometimes I wonder if love, crushes, whatever are worth it. Why can't life be like a romance novel? Why does a person spend their entire life looking for that particular someone & usually not end up finding them?
I'm 32 years old. I've been single for so long I can't remember the last time I went on a date. This guy was the first guy I've been attracted to in a long time and it's truly depressing to realize he doesn't see me in the same light. *sigh*
So, why am I talking about this? Because I think that's why I write romance novels. If I can't have my own HEA, I might as well give it to fictional people who can have theirs. Sure, I have the dating experience of a gnat or a five year old (depending on who you ask), but how hard is it to create a loving, lasting relationship between two people? Ha!
Actually, it's extremely difficult. You want to make it as realistic as possible, but let's be honest here. Are romance novels even close to reality? Let's look at an example shall we?
Here is Sue. She's of average height, kind of frumpy, with dirty dishwater blond hair and green eyes.
Here is Dave. He's tall, dark-haired with a strong physique and no little success with women.
Sue meets Dave at work. He's her new boss. Sue is Dave's executive assistant and though she physically isn't much to look at, he's attracted to her brain.
After countless nights working on a project, Sue comes up with a new & unusual way to showcase Dave's plans for a hotel he's designing. In celebration, Dave kisses Sue.
Sue has a makeover, because she can't believe that handsome Dave is interested in her. Dave is gobsmacked by her radical transformation & starts walking around with a constant hard-on for Sue.
Sue is in love with Dave, but hides it because she just can't see why he'd be interested in her. Due to her idea, they are required to take an overnight trip to the scene of the new hotel and that night Dave seduces Sue. Much sexin' occurs and when they come home from trip, Sue runs away because again, she can't believe he'd be interested in her.
Dave goes to look for Sue and when he finds her, proclaims his love only to find out that miraculously she is now pregnant with his twins and has opened her own business. He proposes, they get married & in the epilogue are as happy as two clams.
The End.
See, nowhere near reality.
And I'm being cynical.
Does love really & truly exist outside of romance? It seems to for everybody but me. *sigh*
And I'm bumming myself out.
Aw well, it's times like these I just wanna run away. I'm thinking my vacation cannot come soon enough.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
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8 comments:
What a bummer. I have to say that this happened to me more times than I could count - pre marriage. It just leaves you with such a bad feeling. Hang in there honey. Maybe the girl he likes is jonesing on someone else too. :)
I'm really sorry girl! I hate to say it but we've all been there. The universe just has a messed up sense of humor sometimes. Maybe it's b/c when you finally meet that right person, it makes everything worth the wait. Like Tracy said, the girl is probably digging someone else. Hold on, your vaca is coming soon!! Maybe you'll meet a hot cabana boy or something ;)
That does stink when the feelings aren't mutual. It's even worse when his feelings are for your best friend (who could careless about him) and he asks you to set them up! Ack! That's the worst that's happened to me.
Oh, bummer! So sorry to hear that. But if he's the wrong guy who couldn't recognize all the great things about you, it's better that you're free and available for when Mr. Right does come along.
I know that doesn't help, though, when it would be nice to have a date this weekend!
Re. romance novels I don't think you're cynical and it's one of the reasons I don't read m/f contemporary anymore.
A good example is the Susan Napier contemporary recently reviewed on Dear Author - Emily is a child of international missionaries who inherited her grandfather's restoration business. She has an exceptional talent for reconstructing rare porcealin. I'm sorry, what?
Bridget- your post is so interesting because, well, yeah, we've all been there.
First, did you ever indicate that you had some feelings for this guy? Because I can't tell you how many guys that I've known came to me years later and were like, "I had a crush on you." Huh? I never knew it. I had no idea so how could I respond to that? Maybe this guy would have liked you if you would have made it known to some degree. I'm not saying throw yourself at him... but sometimes unless a person is given clues, they might be thinking same as you, that who would want them.
Second, I saw that program on discovery or PBS or something which goes into what is behind sexual/romantic attractions. And one thing that was interesting is that people who find a partner go for others who are in their league realistically. The chances of finding a a compatible mate goes way up when we open up to others who we can actually "get."
I'm an average person of average looks and intelligence belonging to the the middle class. So I'm really not going to find a mate who is a genius, or lives a rich fancy lifestyle or who is gorgeous. I might, but how comfortable will I be in that for a long time. There's nothing in common really.
I think many people are really scared of getting their heart broken so they fall in love or have little crushes on people they would never really be able to have a relationship with because deep down they know it will never happen, keeping them safe. I'm not saying this is what happened to you, just that I think we unconsciously sabotage our own love lives.
Lastly...long winded am I? Romance novels are unrealistic. I met my husband at 41 and got married at 47. No big light bulbs flashed, no bells rang, nothing. And the first years of our relationship were very hard... but we stuck it out and have built a life together and it's a good one. So sometimes the right person doesn't come in the package we think and sometimes it's work to reach the point that you finally find that person you can share your life with.
And sometimes it does happen like in a romance novel... but I think it's very rare. But I definitely don't think you are being cynical.
Thanks for your comments everyone. I was feeling very blue last night. Today? Not too bad. I've come to the conclusion men are just an annoyance. LOL!
Hey Bridget!
Sorry, I'm so late to reply, not enough hours in the day!!
You are quite correct, men are an annoyance. And, I'll tell you a secret, you can be unhappy being single sometimes, however if you end up with the wrong guy? Twice as unhappy - NO fun whatsoever.
Warm Regards
L
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