Why hello there lovely ladies of the DIK island. For those who don't know me, I am King Mho Fho, the king of the demon sheep. I rule over Demonville and shack up with Katiebabs. KB and I are soul mates. She has tons of books that I can rub all over my body and she is a true redhead..
Redheads are hot mommas!
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The reason I am here for the last day of KB's posts is that the poor dear had a bit too much fun during the BBQ last night. And since there is a sock on the doorknob to her hut and I keep hearing scream, "YES RICHARD... RYAN... and many different men's name, including Michael who she shouted out that he take her to heaven and beyond", I decided to let the poor girl have her rest and ler her sleep in.
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KB is going to be sorry, because I have a very, very dirty mind. Have you heard the rumors about my mammoth balls? They are the things legends are made of!
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Because I am so warped and I am a male and sex is all we males think of, I am here to recommend some great books that have some WTFOMGBBQ sex scenes in them that will make you all tingly inside. Or perhaps that tingle is you becoming sick because these scenes are true eye-poppers. There is always one book that will shock our minds because the sex acts are so unbelieveable, kind of like a car accident. You should look away, but you can't.
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By accident I picked up Raine by Elizabeth Amber. I couldn't help myself because after KB read that book, she was in a corner rocking and mumbeling under her breath. Because I am a demon sheep I can read anything and not be afraid. Raine was great! I wanted more! You have the heroine of the story who has an extra awesome appendage! She has a dick!! The hero, the king of the fairies has two dicks. Put them together and the fun keeps on coming! Every hole on the body can be plugged. Ever want to have ear secks and butt secks at the same time? Raine is a great manual on how to do it.
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Then there is butt secks on a horse. This great acrobatic sex scene comes from Sam's Creed by Sarah McCarty. Ah the sweet burn the heroine feels as she and her studly hero have a ride they will never forget. No lube or foreplay is required in this book. I guess the up and down motion of the horse is enough. Up goes our plucky heroine, down she is impaled on the hero with the great package. Up and down they go through the desert. No bathing required, and these two still smell like flowers and sweet manly musk.
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Into the Darkness by Delilah Devlin has a lot of twitching cocks and slick folds. It takes place in New Orleans and the steam that rises off the cement is from all the sexin going on. There are a lot of horny ass vampires in Deliah's books. Her poor heroines are so horny and go into heat at a moment's notice. Even if they are in danger, these women must have their sex ASAP! And if there are two men around, they must service her. WOW! Lucky girl.
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Finally, there is one book that has become my all time favorite in WTFOMGBBQ sex scenes. KB twitches everytime I ask her to read Dawn Thompson's Lord of the Deep with me and act out the scenes. For some reason she screams and runs away. KB can be so mean to me sometimes *pout* What is so bad about the heroine having sex with a tree? Trees are very old and wise and could probably pleasure more heroines in romance and erotica than the heroes can.
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I really do like to act out the books I read, and since you have welcomed me to this wonderful island where there are more women I can seduce, I will act out a scene from Lord of the Deep!
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I really do like to act out the books I read, and since you have welcomed me to this wonderful island where there are more women I can seduce, I will act out a scene from Lord of the Deep!
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Set Scene:
Meg is running away from deranged molesting priest who wants to rape her. Meg is saved from wack-o-doo priest from the enchanted trees. Meg is so very greatful and the trees want to be rewarded...
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I am Meg. See my pretty pink bow?
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"Thank you mister tree for saving me from that big bad man." *Smooch*
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"Mister tree, why are you touching me that way? Oh that tickles!"
*Tree whispers in Meg Mho Fho's ear*
"Oh, you want a reward? I need to lie down? But why? Oh I see, you want to help me "relax" Okay!"
*a few minutes later... "Mister tree I feel like a new woman! Your massage was incredible! Now I must skip away and find my horny selkie lover who will have his wicked way with many times on a sponge under the ocean."
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Mister tree is sad. "Oh Mister Tree, don't be sad! Later on I will be in trouble again and you willl come to my rescue. You can give me another massage then! Toodles"
See what fun you can have acting out WTFOMGBBQ sex scenes from books? Do you have any you are brave enough to admit you enjoying reading? Don't be shy!
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This ends my time here. Excuse me why me and my fluffy pink bow waddle over to the bar. Because I look mighty fine in my bow and have such mammoths for the ladies to admire, I should have a few phone numbers before the end of the night.
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And if you see a bow over the doorknob of my hut, don't come a knocking. *wink *
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I wonder what KB will think if I ask to take me shopping for new bows for my wool?
