Friday, August 22, 2008

Just a few essentials.

Welcome to my hut. As you can plainly see, the sun has bleached my hair to a stunning platinum AND taken a few years off me. Made me taller, too!

Today on DIK Island, having spent the last few months discussing my DIK books ad nauseam, I've decided to give you a wee tour of what Colin's oodles of cash has bought us all my cabana.

Requirements for DIK hut as set by my invited guests:


Running Water. Hands down. Number one.



Number Two: Alcohol. Free flowing.Also one of those swell margarita machines that Jimmy Buffet hawks in his chain restaurant and at Target. I think this means we'll need electricity. Fortunately Colin has offered to foot the bill, again, and Savitri can rig something together using paper clips and uranium.

All alcohol should be served in this format, (see photo), unless the wine steward stops by with a few recommended bottles for dinner. Fruit juice is essential. Wouldn't want to get dehydrated!






Number Three: Sunscreen. This should probably be listed as number two, but I can lay in the shade all day ... I refuse to be in paradise without rum. The fact is: most of us burn under the tropical sun. Others do manage to slow roast flesh to a gorgeous mahogany (me! after the burn!). Some of us catch on fire and die in a blaze of glory. We need to consider the limitations of our vampires. And, occassionally, the lube runs out...





Number Four: Dunkin Donuts makes the most dreadfully addictive product on the face of the planet. Heroine's got nuthin on Dunkin. I'd put an entire D&D right on the island, but then I'd have to share it. Get your filthy paws offa my coffee! Unless you've been invited and you're bring coffee cake. And gossip.

No way can I get through a day without this product.





Number Five: Various live artists to perform. Fuck the ipod: I want live music and a good time. We can set up on the beach and everyone can hang out at sunset, with iced cold beverages, beach chairs, frisbees, and BBQ. It'll be swell.










Number Six: I AIN'T COOKING.




Number Seven: Sad but true. The fact is that many of us will find ourselves in a death match. Not over men, but over the tools and supplies of the beauty trade. Wax. Clairol. Nail polish. I'm willing to share my unlimited supply of nair. Not going out of the house without a little buffing and polishing.










So I'm about finished here, but I wanted to add that other than books (which we have in our library) what I'd like to bring are fun play stuff for the beach. Cards. Snorkles. Scrabble. Frisbees. Volleyballs. Boogie boards and sea kayaks. At some point those mens are going to want to goof around, and we are, too.

After we're done reading.

27 comments:

JenB said...

So, basically your desert island is a high-dollar resort.

I think can live with that.

Do we have underground bunkers for our vampire and demon friends?

Shannon said...

My menz and I will be over shortly to enjoy the drinks and decor. As payment I will hide Sam Donovan's clothes. Although, I don't think he needs much incentive to wander around nekkid.

Ana said...

Can I move into your hut?

does that sound dirty? hahahahaa

lisabea said...

Jenb~I'm a really whiny camper. To the point that if I was on survivor, someone would kill me. I'd be all," Are you hot?I'm hot. Man is it hot? Cuz, I'm really hot. Are you thirsty? I could go for a diet coke. I'm really thirsty. Phew. I'm parched.." I could go on...

Shannon~BigGirl was making a list of live music we'd have on the beach. Incubus, of course, the Johnston guy Christine loves so much, the beach boys revival...

Ana~Bring coffee cake and you are welcome anytime.

Katiebabs said...

I will be at yout hut every afternoon (sorry on the DIK no one gets up before noon) and drink mas quantities of Dunkin D and use your wonderful indoor plumbing.
When does happy hour start?

Shannon said...

Everyone gets up at noon, so coffee hour lasts from noon to 1:00. Therefore, happy hour/afternoon must begin at 1:00. Right?

Katiebabs said...

I like the way you think Shannon! :D

lisabea said...

Medium hazzlenut extra skim milk NO sugar.

I'm having some right now.


Happy hour? We don't need no stinking hour! We need a week at least! (It's Key West all over again. Or RWA)

Anonymous said...

Oh, you are SO clever.

~CJ

sula said...

Ian and I are coming over for a playdate with Derek.

Sunscreen FTW!

heh.

Sarah said...

I'd be there for the coffee alone! Not sure about the cake, my madskilz in the baking department are less than desirable...

lisabea said...

Sarah~You just bring me that gd comic book. OMG I lust for Mikemen.

Sula~Y'all can soak in the tub. Big enough,yes?

CJ~As are you. Can't wait to see what you bring.

Tracy said...

OMG Lisabea! When can your architect come and build me a hut that is your huts twin? I am with you on all counts! Water, hooch, sunscreen (a must, if I get one more gd freckle..oh, sorry) I ain't cookin either, coffee! Love coffee!

Since my hut will be just like yours it will feel like home for you at all times.:)

LesleyW said...

LOL - now that's the kind of hut I want.

lisabea said...

Tracy~I figured, begin as you mean to go on, right?


Leslie~I prefer 'cabana'. Heh.

Shannon said...

Hey, build me a gourmet kitchen and provide a cabana boy to wash the dishes and I will do cooking for you all :)

lisabea said...

I almost posted a photo of one of those extreme gas grills (Front Gate). Hmmm...

Sarah said...

But wait... I have 4! heh. Sarah purveyor of pron. hehe.

lisabea said...

FOUR?!?!?! Hey Sarah. There's an interview with my BFF over at teh live journal. GO SEE!!

Christine said...

Holy guacamole, Batman!

Did you know that with a luxury cabana like that, DIK zoning requires you to have a full time rocket scientist on the premises at all times. Seriously.

And lucky you, I happen to know one!!!

(and she can bake, too!)

Teddy Pig said...

There is something not right about having a couch face the bath tub.

I mean, is it an entertainment center?
Are you making your house boys bath (Which you oversee of course.) before cleaning the house in their jock straps?

lisabea said...

Christine~As long as you cross-stich something for over the door. Something like: Clothing Optional.

You're always welcome in my cabana, C.

OH TEDDYPIG, how well you know me.

Sarah said...

Ohhhh. I am there with bells on. Woot!

Tumperkin said...

Spot the woman who has organised a hundred family holidays.

jessewave said...

That is not a hut - it's a high priced resort. What kind of 'roughing it' is this? My hut was going to have a thatched roof and no electricity. That's not fair. Back to the drawing board.

I love Mikemen - they have such huge um .. hands! Save me some of that pineapple drink thing.

lisabea said...

Can you tell that I hate roughing it? When my parents built their hippie dream home in the early 70's, we lived in tents for a few months. WE actually went through a hurricane..in our tents.

Stick a fork in me. I'm done.

Besides, everyone will be lured into stopping by my place to enjoy the a.c. in the heat of the day. C'mon by!

Sarai said...

Man take a day off and look what you miss? Damn I want to design my hut but sadly enough the only one with money is Cam and I don't think he likes to live in doors... Well shit.

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