Just a few essentials.

Welcome to my hut. As you can plainly see, the sun has bleached my hair to a stunning platinum AND taken a few years off me. Made me taller, too!

Today on DIK Island, having spent the last few months discussing my DIK books ad nauseam, I've decided to give you a wee tour of what Colin's oodles of cash has bought us all my cabana.

Requirements for DIK hut as set by my invited guests:

Running Water. Hands down. Number one.

Number Two: Alcohol. Free flowing.Also one of those swell margarita machines that Jimmy Buffet hawks in his chain restaurant and at Target. I think this means we'll need electricity. Fortunately Colin has offered to foot the bill, again, and Savitri can rig something together using paper clips and uranium.

All alcohol should be served in this format, (see photo), unless the wine steward stops by with a few recommended bottles for dinner. Fruit juice is essential. Wouldn't want to get dehydrated!






Number Three: Sunscreen. This should probably be listed as number two, but I can lay in the shade all day ... I refuse to be in paradise without rum. The fact is: most of us burn under the tropical sun. Others do manage to slow roast flesh to a gorgeous mahogany (me! after the burn!). Some of us catch on fire and die in a blaze of glory. We need to consider the limitations of our vampires. And, occassionally, the lube runs out...





Number Four: Dunkin Donuts makes the most dreadfully addictive product on the face of the planet. Heroine's got nuthin on Dunkin. I'd put an entire D&D right on the island, but then I'd have to share it. Get your filthy paws offa my coffee! Unless you've been invited and you're bring coffee cake. And gossip.

No way can I get through a day without this product.





Number Five: Various live artists to perform. Fuck the ipod: I want live music and a good time. We can set up on the beach and everyone can hang out at sunset, with iced cold beverages, beach chairs, frisbees, and BBQ. It'll be swell.

Number Six: I AIN'T COOKING.

Number Seven: Sad but true. The fact is that many of us will find ourselves in a death match. Not over men, but over the tools and supplies of the beauty trade. Wax. Clairol. Nail polish. I'm willing to share my unlimited supply of nair. Not going out of the house without a little buffing and polishing.










So I'm about finished here, but I wanted to add that other than books (which we have in our library) what I'd like to bring are fun play stuff for the beach. Cards. Snorkles. Scrabble. Frisbees. Volleyballs. Boogie boards and sea kayaks. At some point those mens are going to want to goof around, and we are, too.

After we're done reading.