Talking to Myself in Funny Voices

Please welcome Jessica Freely to our island hideaway!

Thank you to the ladies of DIK for having me here today, and thank you for joining me as I celebrate the release of my new m/m erotic romance, Broken, the book that answers the question: What happens when the closeted younger brother of a mob boss falls for the boss's latest acquisition, a rent-boy from Hong Kong?

Broken is now available from Loose Id

For the first four months of sales I am donating half of my proceeds from Broken to Project Polaris, combating human trafficking and modern day slavery.

I'm thrilled to be here and to share with you a story about how Broken came to be.

Oh, but before I forget, I'm running a contest today and the winner gets a free copy of Broken. Please leave a comment to this post and you'll be entered. The lucky winner will be announced at the end of the day.

Do you ever wonder how a book goes from idea to completed project? Well, the truth is, no two writers work exactly the same way.

Sometimes, the process is different just from one project to the next. Take Broken, for example. This story began way back in 2007 when I was at YaoiCon. I had just met my first epublisher and the prospect of a fertile market for m/m stories had set my little brain on fire with story ideas. An hour before I caught the shuttle to the airport, I sat down and quickly jotted down several quick outlines. One of these was what eventually became my David and Seth series. Another was about a mob enforcer who falls for a rent boy.

That little kernel of a story sat in the back of my brain gestating for three years while I worked on other projects. By the time I started working on it last winter, it was ready to come out into the world.

Not just ready, bursting with eagerness.

The first draft was pouring out of me and right in the middle of it, I had another convention to attend. EPICon, in Williamsburg, VA. I live in Michigan, and I was driving. The prospect of taking a week off in the middle of this creative frenzy troubled me deeply. In the first place, I wasn't sure the project was going to let me put it on hiatus. In the second place, there's always the chance, when you bring a hurtling locomotive to a screeching halt, that it might run right off the rails. I couldn't risk that.

So I did something I've never done before.

I used a voice recorder.

I know, I know, big deal, right? Well it was kind of a big deal to me. I'd tried using one in the past, and it had felt odd and awkward and I hated the way my voice sounded on playback. That's what I sound like to other people? I'm never talking again! (Heh, fat chance of that.)

Anyway, whether it was my overwhelming need to keep creating Broken or something else, I got over myself and I used the voice recorder on the Evernote app on my iPhone. All the way from Detroit to Virginia, a trip I broke up into three days of driving, I ruminated on the story and talked to myself. Well, to my phone. In the evenings, I transcribed my day's notes and used that as a jumping off point for more writing, which in turn fed my brain for the next day, when I drove and talked out the book some more.

It worked a charm, and had the added benefit that now I have all these little audio clips that stand as a record to the process by which Broken came into being. Some of them are ideas or observations. The ones I like the best are the ones where I take on the roles of the characters and actually talk out their dialogue. (I use funny voices and everything.)

It worked so well I kept it up even after I got home. I was taking audio notes in the gym, in the coffeehouse, in the parking garage. And somewhere along the line, I got over the sound of my own voice, too, so much so, in fact that I've decided to share these little glimpses behind the scenes of Broken with the rest of the world.

From Aug. 30 through Nov. 10 every Tuesday and Thursday on my blog, I'm posting a mini podcast featuring one of my audio notes. They're short, almost always under five minutes long and often much less than that, and they cover everything from mobster birthday parties to notes for scenes that never made it into the book.

But my audio madness didn't stop there. I have a subscribers-only Yahoo! newsletter group. These are folks who have deliberately signed up to receive notices whenever I have a new release out. They are insane maniacs and I adore them. So of course I try to do something special for them whenever I can. That's why I've created an audio version of the first chapter of Broken. It's available exclusively to my newsletter members. (For more information on my group and how to join, go here http://groups.yahoo.com/group/jessicafreely/)

I love how writing just keeps pushing me out beyond my comfort zone. Thank you for accompanying me on this leg of my journey!

About Broken:
When the closeted younger brother of a mob boss falls for the boss's latest acquisition, a rent-boy from Hong Kong, it's either suicide or one last chance for two broken men to mend each other.

Buy Link: http://www.loose-id.com/Broken.aspx

Excerpt:
Eben had lied to his brother and made love, both for the first time, all in one day.

And now he and Xiu were supposed to go back to their regular lives and never touch each other again. The thought of that hollowed out Eben's heart and filled it with ice.

But the sight of Xiu waving a condom at him and grinning melted it all over again.

There'd be plenty of time later for real life. Eben pulled Xiu down and kissed him. "Good morning!"

Their naked bodies pressed together. Xiu's cock was hot and hard. He shifted his hips to rub it against Eben's own erection. They bumped and slid together, filling Eben with excitement and longing. This was their chance. Whatever they wanted, they had to do it now.

Eben sat up and took the condom from Xiu. He tore it open and started rolling it over Xiu's cock.

The expression on Xiu's face made Eben laugh. Mouth open and eyes wide, he looked like Eben had just brought a goat into the bed with them. "Seriously?"

"Yes, of course!" He paused. "Unless you don't want to."

Xiu opened and closed his mouth a few times before saying, "No, I do. I just -- Most guys I --" Xiu laughed too. "But what am I saying? You're not most guys. Yes, why not?"

"Exactly."

Xiu smiled and his dimple appeared. He watched, apparently mesmerized, as Eben finished rolling the condom down his cock.

Eben lay back and lifted his knees. "Now this is my first time," he said, grinning. "Be gentle with me?"

That got a burst of startled laughter from Xiu. "You are just --" He leaned forward and kissed Eben, pulled back and gazed into his face with glittering dark eyes that might have had tears in them, and then kissed Eben again. "Oyun. I will be gentle with you."

Xiu kissed his way down Eben's body. Every press of his lips and glide of his tongue awakened Eben's nerve endings until he hummed like a tightly strung wire. Precum dripped from his cock and beaded on his belly. Xiu dragged his fingers through it and painted circles and flowers on Eben's skin. Then he reached down and pressed his slick fingers to Eben's hole.

A jolt of adrenaline-laced excitement shot through Eben at that touch. He was a little scared. It was probably going to hurt but he didn't care. He wanted it anyway.

Wet heat enveloped his straining cock, derailing his thoughts. Xiu had one hand wrapped around the base of Eben's cock. He sucked Eben while he played with Eben's asshole. The warm, silken suction and the delicate dance of damp fingers combined to make Eben's head spin and his balls tighten. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" He bucked up, helpless in the grip of Xiu's erotic mastery.

Xiu pulled off him for a moment and reached for the lube. He spread more on his fingers and then went back to sucking Eben's cock. One finger probed at Eben's opening, which fluttered in response to the gentle pressure. Slowly, Xiu breeched Eben's body. It felt weird at first, kind of uncomfortable, and then something deep inside Eben's body sparked to life and started to pulse, demanding more. "Oh!"

Xiu slid his finger in deeper, deeper, all the while working Eben's cock with lips and tongue. Eben was caught in a whirlwind of sensations, and then suddenly, Xiu's finger brushed that pulsing spot inside and Eben's whole world turned to molten joy. "Jesus!"

Eben's body seemed to suck Xiu's finger in now. He wanted more. More. He pushed down against Xiu's finger and then thrust up into Xiu's mouth, his hips moving as if with a will of their own. He reached down and stroked Xiu's silken hair. "Jesus Xiu. You… you…"

Xiu slid another finger inside Eben and joy turned to ecstasy, bright and sharp with need. Eben's balls drew up. Honey gathered in Eben's belly. "You better hurry. I'm… I'm…"

Xiu pulled off and readjusted his grip, grasping Eben's cock and the base of his balls and clamping down tight. The sweet fire in Eben's belly had nowhere to go now. All it could do was build as Xiu kept stroking the sensitive walls of Eben's channel with his fingers.

Eben had never felt anything like this. His hands and feet tingled. His cock throbbed. This was going to kill him but at least he'd die happy.

At last Xiu withdrew his fingers and shifted position. He leaned forward and kissed Eben. "Ready?"

"Oh my God! Yes, please!"

Xiu grinned and kissed the tip of Eben's nose. More lube and then the warm, slick, firm head of Xiu's cock nudged at Eben's body. It felt really big, but Eben was far past caring at this point. "Yes. Do it. Please."

Sweat beaded on Xiu's forehead as he slowly pressed inward, stretching Eben wider and wider. Eben struggled for breath. This is impossible. It… it… Oh! Suddenly, Xiu's cock slid all the way in and filled Eben with so much heat and pressure and pleasure that ecstasy seemed to flood every part of his body. And because Xiu still had a vise-like grip around the base of Eben's balls, it had nowhere to go except to take Eben higher. "Oh God!"

For a moment neither of them moved, and then Xiu very slowly withdrew, leaving Eben empty and aching to be filled again. When Xiu thrust forward again, his cock slid right over that little pulsing place inside and sent Eben reeling.

He whimpered when Xiu withdrew again, and bucked up to meet him at the next thrust. The same rhythm that had taken them the night before found them again and soon they were moving together as if they were one being. Ebb and flow, thrust and flex.

Xiu fucked Eben with relentless majesty, sweat dripping from his face to land on Eben's chest. Eben arched beneath him, lost in the tide of their passion, no longer able to distinguish one sensation from another.

Their pace quickened. Xiu released his stranglehold on Eben's balls and the knot of pleasure in Eben's belly that had been building and building all this time pulsed. Xiu reached down and stroked Eben's cock.

Eben's whole body jerked as every ripple and wave that had washed over him until then suddenly rushed to the base of his balls. He came, shouting and spasming, helpless in the grip of an orgasm that seemed to pour out from everywhere at once and wash him clean.

"Ling jan ging kei!" Xiu pumped into him. He leaned forward, capturing Eben's mouth with his as he thrust raggedly and then went still.

They clung together as aftershocks shook their bodies. Eben fully expected to find that they lay in the middle of a crater, but as it turned out, it was still just his bedroom, unchanged, though it seemed impossible that anything could be the same again after that.