The Guys Who Will Never Be In Your Huts (I Hope)

I think this post is supposed to be about Heroes I Love. But in the last post, I listed my favorite heroes -- all characters who aren’t in my books. This time, I’m going to share my views about those male characters who do populate my novels.

But probably not the ones you think :-D

HOT SPELL: Assistant Surgeon Dilby.

This guy is lucky as hell. While searching for survivors on a Spanish battlefield, he and Anthony Ramsdell run into a nosferatu. Anthony tells Dilby to run; Dilby runs, and while the nosferatu is killing Anthony, manages to get away.

But I don’t quite hate him. Oh, sure, I think he’s a weenie and maybe he could have done a little more to help Anthony, but I understand why he didn’t. They were facing a terrifying monster that neither he nor Anthony could really comprehend, but that they both knew was evil. It wasn’t what either of them had been sent to fight, either (Napoleon was shorter than a nosferatu, and had duller teeth) and they both knew there was no possibility of winning. The nosferatu meant certain death.

And Dilby would have stayed. He wouldn’t have abandoned Anthony, except that Anthony told him to ... and Anthony used the one argument that Dilby had no resistance against: Dilby’s family. Getting away meant that his wife and daughter didn’t lose a husband and father -- and they relied on Dilby to support them.

So Dilby is a total loser -- but I’m not sure, faced with the same situation, if I wouldn’t be, too.

[/end exposing self as loser]

DEMON ANGEL: Robert d’Aulnoy, the Earl of Essex.

Near the end of the medieval section of the book, d’Aulnoy finds his wife with Hugh and orders the younger man’s execution. Hugh gets stabbed through the chest, and only lives because Lilith saves his ass just before he dies.

But I don’t quite hate d’Aulnoy. Sure, I spent WAY too much time researching everything about him from his name to his castle (he was based on...well, the real Earl of Essex) and sure he was getting thin on top and ate a bit more than he should so he couldn’t fit into his hauberk any more, and he was incredibly jealous of any man who looked at his wife Isabel, but he wasn’t all bad ... and if I’d been him, I’d have killed Hugh, too.

After all, he’d taken Hugh in as a boy, and despite Hugh’s complete lack of family (which meant financial and military support when the barons rebelled against King John) he’d trained and raised him, and Hugh had been his favorite. He’d knighted Hugh young, gave him his own armor, then trusted Hugh enough to let him protect his young wife while the war against John was fought.

And I really can’t blame d’Aulnoy for being paranoid and jealous; Lilith had been sending him dreams and suggesting that the relationship between Hugh and Isabel was no longer platonic (which was kind of true; Hugh and Isabel didn’t have sex, but they definitely had secret feelings for each other (awwww, puppy love.)) Oh, and finding Hugh atop a castle wall with his hand under Isabel’s skirts didn’t help either (and even if Hugh had told the truth about the situation -- that he’d thought Isabel was actually Lilith, shape-shifted into her form) who would have believed him?

So although d’Aulnoy is blinded a little by love and too eager to believe the lies that Hugh tells to protect them all from Lilith’s machinations, he’s actually a decent guy. And, okay, maybe he was also a bit eager to have his second-in-command chop off Hugh’s head, but the guy had just learned that Hugh had suggested killing him to Isabel. In those times, an earl didn’t hang onto his power by letting self-admitted traitors go free. So, yep, I’d totally have killed Hugh, too.

[/end exposing self as asshole sympathizer]

DEMON MOON: Varney.

Aw, I love Varney.

No, I really do. I’m guessing that you’re expecting me to pull out another asshole at this point, but in this case ... nope. Varney just melts my heart.

He’s huge, he’s a vampire, he’s pale, he’s bald, he’s named after one of the first vampires in literary history, and he kind of looks like a nosferatu (which is why Colin chose him to be the bouncer at Polidori’s nightclub -- nothing scares the crap out of vampires like a nosferatu). But despite all of that, he’s just a big softie. And he goes through so much! Gets his feet amputated (and cheap Colin only gives him a raise afterwards) then sits and lets a newbie vampire suck on him and turn him way on even though he doesn’t get to mess around with her later ... or mess around with Colin, who I’m pretty sure is the one Varney really wants.

All because he’s a nice guy, awwww.

Hmmm, do nice guys -- even bald, scary ones -- end up in huts? Probably. So maybe this one should have been about Darkwolf? I mean, you gotta love a guy in leather who used to be Special Forces in his human life, who has two hot vampires crazy in love with him, who is in a solid relationship with both, and who forces Colin’s hand when Colin would rather just go on as the richy-rich spoiled boy who never does anything for the vampire community he’s living in. So what if he kind of hates humans and would like to a) start sucking on them or b) make slaves out of all of them?

[/end vampire love]

DEMON NIGHT: Sammael.

If you’re looking for a sheriff to clean up your town (or island), Sammael is the man to call on. If you’ve got humans who aren’t doing right, Sammael will try to find a way to set them on the straight path, even if that path is *really* straight and narrow. If you’ve got a pair of outlaws heading into your town, Sammael won’t take any shit from them -- and you can bet those outlaws will be in jail before you can say ‘jiminy.’ And if those outlaws think they might be getting anything like a trial...well, they haven’t been introduced to Sammael’s form of justice.

And if, a hundred and twenty years later, you happen to be a scatterbrained scientist whose passion is blood research, Sammael might just fall in love with you. And you probably won’t mind; Sammael is hell of a gorgeous guy -- and rich, too. Maybe if you’ve got a sister, it won’t be so great for her when Sammael attempts to turn her into a vampire against her will.

But that knife he stabbed into your sister’s leg? She totally deserved that, right? After all, she shot him first. Sammael was honestly just trying to save you.

Because he really does love you. And if his sort of love is kind of twisted, that’s all right. Surely, you’ll be able to change him.

...right?

[/end annoying second person rambling]

DEMON BOUND: Michael.

Well, to tell you the truth -- Michael isn’t all that bright. The dude lost his magical sword two thousand years ago, got it again, then was tricked by Lilith and lost it again.

And that’s pretty much all there is to him.

[/end lie]

So, there you have it. A few thoughts about the males populating my stories -- each one missing the title of ‘hero’ with his own book by just a couple of flaws. Or because he’s already taken. Or because he’s an asshole demon who shot a novice in the head.

Oh ... wait.

Michael is in someone’s hut, isn’t he?

Uh-oh. That has made someone verrrrrrrrrry mad. Not me. But she’s heading to the island. And I think she’ll arrive tomorrow.

[hides under a pile of banana leaves, shivering]

Meljean's new release, Demon Bound, is calling out to you. And not because all the great reviews are around and you happen to be dirt poor. No...you need it.