I got to thinking while lounging on the DIK jet about what it’s been like to live with 3 men over the years. I mean, my one son is only home on holidays but over the three week Christmas break I discovered living with 3 big guys, 3 dogs and 1 geriatric cat does present it’s challenges.
Why?
- No matter how well you have trained your men there will be occasions when you get up at 2 or 3 am to use the facility and fall in to the toilet bowl because the seat has been left up.
- After you drag your wet posterior out of said toilet bowl, which hopefully contains water, you will reach for the toilet paper and only the cardboard roll will be left.
- Or, (ewwww) "someone" has left the seat down while doing their thing and aimed poorly. The wet stuff you are sitting in is NOT water ladies!!
- As with the toilet paper roll, the paper towel roll in the the kitchen and laundry room will always be empty.
- You will, without question, go to the refrigerator to pour yourself a glass of milk and the plastic milk sleeve will be empty. Which is equally true of the fresh fruit and vegetable keeper.
- The interesting thing is that no one is EVER responsible for the above noted annoyances.
- Restocking of the refrigerator will be required every second day because 3 big men Hoover food just like the vacuum cleaner of the same name. Further, they are all on different diets!
- You will NEVER see the bottom of the laundry basket.
- No matter how well your sons get along after they are together for any length of time they will start to argue like cats, usually over something trivial.
- Folks will be coming and going at all hours and the dogs will be barking at all hours because they like to keep track of everyone.
- It is INEVITABLE that as soon as you sit down to read a good book someone will have a question or want something. OR they decide that precise moment is the time for a serious discussion.
- There will be so many shoes and boots at the front door you will be navigating an obstacle course when you come in the house.
- The cat will sneak out in the cold when someone is coming in during the wee hours and then immediately start squealing to come back in and no one else hears him!
I’m back to living with only 2 of my men now and the house is a little quieter. Before leaving for the Island, I replaced all the empty toilet paper and paper towel rolls. The milk sleeve was 1/2 full. ;) Tori & I are now kicking back on a comfortable lounge chair, checking out all the new heroes playing on the Island. Big welcome to all the new DIK ladies and their menz!
Any little tidbits you’d like to share with respect to living with men, ladies, or family of the four legged variety for that matter? I would love to trade stories. In the meantime, I’m going to enjoy my fancy drink with the little umbrella poking out of the top and read my latest book in peace! *sigh* It’s always good to be here on the island. ;) Cheers!!
20 comments:
LOL, Lea! So true too. I only have 1 grown man in my house and two more men-in-training and I still have the problems you do. Hmmmmm, maybe I need to do some more training of my own :).
Ugh, the first few years that I lived with my guy, I truly thought that I could civilize him, especially about the toilet seat issue. After about 3 or 4 years, I just gave up. Now I just automatically assume that it will be up and I never sit down in the middle of the night without checking.
@Jenre: LOL Yeah, good luck, I thought I had trained everyone very well but it's an equipment issue with men - since it is all placed on the front requiring them to stand and aim...they don't think about the other half of the human popultation that has to sit to aim. The other thing is that they do think about their equipment A LOT.. sooo LOL
I have to say though the empty milk container in the refrigerator does drive me NUTS though!! And, from talking with other mothers who live with men it is not uncommon!
Good luck training your guys.. :-)
@JenM: Yes, after 25 years and learning the hard way I've tried to retrain myself that way too. But for some reason when I'm more than half asleep in the wee hours of the morning I usually don't remember. LOL
ROFL
Lea, you are too funny! Except for the pets & the ipad, that could be my house. I'll have to let them know what will get them off the hook LOL.
Yea, the toilet paper thing only drives me crazy because they are otherwise "engineer-minded, capable of figuring out how anything works, kind of guys". they will take a new roll out and leave it on the counter. The little springy thing is beyond their comprehension.
My other peeves:
Not letting me know we're out of something only because I pass by the grocery store like 6 times a week as it is.
I don't mind doing laundry but the concept of "if it isn't in the laundry room, it won't get done" is obviously another language.
Thanks for the great laugh.
LOL - I have the same problem as Mary. The new roll can never seem to make it onto the holder!
How about laundry strewn EVERYWHERE? My big strapping husband just can't get the concept of a laundry BASKET... and my fluffy purring man kitty just loves to lay on top of it all. :D
But he will do the dishes without me asking so I'll let it slide.
I grew up with two brothers and a sister. Including my parents my house was evenly split among gender.
However, the males don't know how to replace the toilet paper when it's gone. I'm not even going to talk about the toilet seat.
LOL Lea this was too cute! I only have two men, ok one is a little guy, and a teenage daughter (I have to throw her into the mix)...oh can't forget the two dogs and two cats. Normally I don't have too many pet peeves but since my accident I am ready to pull my hair out.
The seat of the toilet has not been too big of an issue. My husband is a firm believer that if he must lift the seat and return the seat he is going to close the lid as well and that us ladies must close the lid as well. It seems only fair that we have to do some work to use the facilities. However when trying to balance on one foot while trying to get to the toilet it is a little frustrating to have to ready the toilet for my use. Toilet paper is getting shredded by my daughters "gotta have it" 6 mos old kitten. Who is louder than either one of my dogs. It never fails as soon as I get myself positioned on the couch with the foot propped up in puter in lap he starts yelling to either come in or go out.
The dogs are the laziest bunch I have ever encountered. The know momma is not going to run them over with the wheel chair or accidentally step on them with the crutches so they refuse to move when they see me coming. Having to invent new ways to get around them or over them has probably made me more limber than I was before I broke my ankle, and surprisingly enough has not caused me to fall again.
I keep telling them if you can get the laundry to the laundry room I will be more than happy to hop in there and wash it. I will even fold it and put in your rooms but you have to put it away... So why is laundry still lying all over the bathroom floor wrapping itself around the bottom of my crutches?
At Christmas we had a lot of people here. The guys were definitely outnumbered. Toilet paper seemed to disappear. My daughter and one of her very dear friends took my list to the store and returned with one of those industrial sized packs of TP. My husband goes into this spiel of how no one is going to think twice if a woman walks through the store with that sized package of TP but if it is a man they start looking at him funny and wondering exactly what is he doing with all that paper.
I could go for days but this is already turning into a book!!
Great article, Lea. Made me grin. Personally, I think the French have it right. I don't think men should be peeing in the bowl. It's too far away and splatters are inevitable. Two different manuevers require two different apparatus, IMO. *Grin*
For the most part, my guys are pretty considerate, bless them. I more think of how they can all get together and talk about a computer program or piece of machinery for like...hours. It's so...well, boring. Course they think the same thing when my sisters and I get to talking about books or fashion.
And the sudden sweetness (like unexpected Ipads--yay!) slays us every time, doesn't it? :)
lol Too funny. I can't imagine more than 1 man in the house - seriously. But my 13 year old daughter is almost as bad when it comes to the food and milk!
With my man it's not rinsing his dishes when he puts them in the sink. After 19 years together you'd think he'd remember that NOT doing this drives me batshit crazy - apparently not. lol
@Hey Mary:
Yes, the male mind works in mysterious ways, they can work out complicated computations but the workings of the springy thing that holds the toilet paper roll mystifies them!
It's been a while, but I worked out a toilet seat compromise with the last guy I lived with. His complaint was that I always left the seat down and mine that he always left it up. So, we both started leaving seat and lid down. Then you always knew what to expect and everyone had to do a little work with the seat.
Now that I live with a boy kitty and a girl kitty, I see similar behavior from the boy kitty - he's not so good at burying his poop, so the poor long-suffering girl kitty goes in and buries it and whines at him. :)
@Hey Miranda! Oh I KNOW! The laundry issue is never ending, however I have to admit my guys are good about putting it in the basket and the youngest son is persnickety about the way his clothing is washed so he does it himself. ;)
You have my empathy.. LOL
Wow, that is a busy house Amelia!! I can see how there would be 'facility' issues.. ;)
Thanks!!
Poor Heather: :(( I hope your ankle is mending, what an awful time you've had!! I would have a long story to tell too if I was forced to go through what you have.
LOL re the toilet paper story!
((hugs)) I hope you are back on your feet soon!
Beth!
LOL Now I'm intrigued to find out how French men get past the "aiming" issue..
You are too funny re the "maneuvers and apparatus"!
Thanks!!
Hey Tracy!
I hear living with a bunch of females certainly has it's challenges particularly when the hormones start zinging! lol
LOL re the dishes - I can relate. I'm lucky because my husband loves to cook but he manages to dirty every dish in the house while he is at it and the clean up is never quite completed.. *rolling eyes*
Hey Chris!
Perfect Compromise! Now, if I can just get all my men on the same page I'd be able to tick off one pet peeve off the list! lol
Oddly enough I was thinking of you Chaos and May when I wrote this post. lol
Chaos with his Houdini act with the cupboards and you having to childproof them. That cat is positively diabolical. Poor little Mayhem - I'd be whining at Mr. Messy too and handing him the pooper scooper.. ;)
Thanks!!
Strangely, it's his brother who's named Diablo. ;)
So true Lea, so true! Living with men is a trial... the 2 legged as well as the 4 legged variety. Just when I think I can them trained, they do the toilet seat thing... and I have to say... my daughter is just as bad with the toilet paper.. and she seems to use so much more!! Instead of using a tissue, she grabs a handful of toilet paper instead... for makeup, for nail polish, to clean up the sink after using makeup and nail polish....
And no one will take the blame for the empty paper towel spool or the empty container of milk/juice in the frig. I'm blaming the gnomes.
Dottie :)
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